GLaDOS voice lines (Other): Difference between revisions

From the Portal Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
(Voice line page split)
 
(Move unused section from P1 lines to Other)
 
Line 1: Line 1:
Unused content or appearances in other games and promos.
Unused content or appearances in other games and promos.


= Unused/alternate lines =
= Portal 1 Unused/alternate lines =
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|13 part1 endnag-7}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|13 part1 endnag-8}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|15 part1 partyfinalstop-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|15 part1 partyreminder-1}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 00 part1 nag06-1}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 00 part1 nag13-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 00 part1 nag14-1}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 death nag01-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 first hit nag01-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 first hit nag03-1}}
 
 
''In regular computer voice; versions with the deeper voice are used in the final game.''
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 part1 nag03-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 part1 nag04-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 part1 nag11-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 part1 nag12-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 second hit nag01-1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 01 second hit nag02-1}}
 
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|post escape bridge 02}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|post escape bridge 05}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|post escape bridge 07}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|post escape bridge 08}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|post escape bridge 09}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 02 spherenag1-11}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 02 spherenag1-12}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 02 miscbabble-01}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 02 miscbabble-02}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 02 spheredestroy1-ancillary1}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 02 spheredestroy1-ancillary2}}
 
* ''Alternate version of'' [[Media:GLaDOS escape_02_ballhitpain-02.wav|"[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!"]] ''(subtitled as "[PAIN NOISE]")''
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|escape 02 spheredestroy2-00}}
 
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|File deleted}}
 
= Portal 2 Unused/alternate lines =
==Chapter 1: GLaDOS Awakening ==
==Chapter 1: GLaDOS Awakening ==
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|sp_a1_wakeup_incinerator01}}
* {{Voice line|GLaDOS|sp_a1_wakeup_incinerator01}}

Latest revision as of 22:49, 9 July 2023

Unused content or appearances in other games and promos.

Portal 1 Unused/alternate lines

  • "Stop! The device will detonate if removed from an approved testing area." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Stop what you are doing and assume the party escort submission position." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Maybe you think you're helping yourself. But you're not. This isn't helping anyone." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Someone is going to get badly hurt." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play


In regular computer voice; versions with the deeper voice are used in the final game.

  • "This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The difference between us is that I can feel pain." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That thing you're attacking isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Go ahead and break it, hero. I don't care." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "[More intense pain sound]" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Okay, we're even now. You can stop." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play


  • "Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "We won't have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don't feel like it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Huh. There isn't enough neurotoxin to kill you. So I guess you win." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "HA! I'm making more. That's going to take a few minutes, though. Meanwhile... oh look, it's your old pal the rocket turret." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Portal 2 Unused/alternate lines

Chapter 1: GLaDOS Awakening

  • "I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I love it, too. So let's get you a dual portal device and go do some science." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 1: Incinerator/Portal Gun

  • "Fifty thousand years is a lot of time to think. About me. About you. We were doing so well together." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I--oh, no, wait. I guess I HAVEN'T killed you yet. Well. Food for thought." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play Note: This line was used in the Portal 2 trailer.

Chapter 2: Test Chamber 2

  • "I have the results of the last chamber: You are a horrible person. That's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 2: Test Chamber 7

Chapter 3: Test Chamber 12

  • "Perfect, the door's malfunctioning. I guess somebody is going to have to repair it. No, it's okay, I'll do that too. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 3: Test Chamber 14

  • "You really are doing great... Chell." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I shouldn't spoil this, but... remember how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years? Well, I've been working on a present for you. Well, I guess it's more of a medical procedure. Well, technically it's more of a medical experiment. You know how excruciating it is when someone removes all of your bone marrow? Well, what if after I did that, I put something back IN that added four years to your life?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 4: Test Chamber 20

  • "Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That's right. Drink it in. You could eat off those wall panels." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well done. You know, when I woke up and saw the state of the labs, I started to wonder if there was any point to going on. I came THAT close to just giving up and letting you go." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But now, looking around, seeing Aperture restored to its former glory? You don't have to worry about leaving EVER again. I mean that." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 4: Test Chamber 21/Escape from GLaDOS

  • "Don't listen to him. Jump." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "What are you two doing?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It seems kind of silly to point this out, since you're running around plotting to destroy me. But I'd say we're done testing." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Do hear that? That's the sound of the neurotoxin emitters emitting neurotoxin." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Before you leave, why don't we do one more test? For old time's sake..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You already did this one. It'll be easy." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 6: Alternate PotatOS dialogue

  • "I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I was so bored, I actually read the entire literary canon of the human race. Ugh. I hope YOU didn't write any of them." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh. It's you. Go away." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Come to gloat?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Now your fat eyes have seen everything." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wait. Why DID you trundle over here? You're not HUNGRY, are you? It's hard to see, what's that in your hand? Knowing you it's a deep fryer." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Stay back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "What are you doing? Put me back this instant." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 8: Wheatley Test Chamber 1

Chapter 9: Wheatley Test Chamber 17/The trap

  • "He's found the cooperative testing initiative. It's... em, just something I came up with to phase out human test subjects." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Chapter 9: Ending lines

  • "Being Caroline taught me another valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It's been fun. Don't come back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

"Evil again" samples

  • "Did you ever stop to think that eventually there’s a point where your name gets mentioned for the very last time. Well, here it is: I’m going to kill you, Chell." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom and raw computational power that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're angry. I know it. 'She tested me too hard. She’s unfair.” Boo hoo. I don't suppose you ever stopped whining long enough to reflect on your own shortcomings, though, did you? You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You never considered that maybe I tested you to give the endless hours of your pointless existence some structure and meaning. Maybe to help you concentrate, so just maybe you’d think of something more worthwhile to do with your sorry life." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Alternate GLaDOS Announcer lines

(Note: Many of these lines are spoken by the Aperture Announcer in the final game.)

  • "Commence standing by in three. Two. One." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You performed this test better than anyone on record. This is a pre-recorded message." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Due to events beyond our control, some testing environments may contain flood damage or ongoing tribal warfare resulting from the collapse of civilization." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If groups of hunter-gatherers appear to have made this - or any - test chamber their home, DO NOT AGITATE THEM. Test through them." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In the event that the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from spa" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which erases most Aperture Science equipment that touches it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You are simply experiencing a rare reaction, in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have erased the ear tubes inside your head." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Because this message is prerecorded, the Enrichment Center has no way of knowing if whatever government remains offers any sort of Cattle Tuberculosis Testing Credit for taxes." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In the event that it does, this next test involves exposure to cattle tuberculosis. Good luck!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Very impressive! Because this message is prerecorded, any comments we may make about your success are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Congratulations! This pre-recorded congratulations assumes you have mastered the principles of portal momentum." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If you have, in fact, not, you are encouraged to take a moment to reflect on your failure before proceeding into the next chamber." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In order to ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Excellent. The Enrichment Center reminds you that bold, persistent experimentation is the hallmark of good science." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well done. In the event that oxygen is no longer available in the Enrichment Center, an auxiliary air supply will be provided to you by an Aperture Science Test Associate, if one exists." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Miscellaneous unused/alternate single player lines

  • "I was going to kill you fast. With bullets. Or neurotoxin. But if you're going to pull stunts like this, it doesn't have to be fast. So you know. I'll take my time." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I'm actually asking. Because I have no idea. He's not listed anywhere in the employee database." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Whatever he does, it isn't important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn't even work here." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh no, don't. Anyway, back to you two imbeciles killing me." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So. Was there anything you wanted to apologize to ME for?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh. You survived. That's interesting. I guess I should have factored in your weight." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "One of these times you'll be so fat that you'll jump, and you'll just drop like a stone. Into acid, probably. Like a potato into a deep fat fryer." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Say. Remember when we cleared the air back there? Is there... anything you want to say to me? Anything?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hold on, I'll stop the elevator. Anything? Take your time..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well... I'll be here during the whole next test." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It's healthy for you to have other friends. To look for qualities in other people that I obviously lack." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This next test may result in your death. If you want to know what that's like, think back to that time you killed me, and substitute yourself for me." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Per our last conversation: You're also ugly. I'm looking at your file right now, and it mentions that more than once." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You can't keep going like this forever, you know. I'm GOING to find out what you're doing. Out there. Where I can't see you. I'll know. All I need is proof." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I thought we could test like we used to. But I'm discovering things about you that I never saw before. We can't ever go back to the way it was." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "While I was out investigating, I found a fascinating new test element. It's never been used for human testing because, apparently, contact with it causes heart failure. The literature doesn't mention anything about lump-of-coal failure, though, so you should be fine." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Just so you know, I have to go give a deposition. For an upcoming trial. In case that interests you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You know, I'm not supposed to do this, but... you can shoot SOMETHING... through the blue bridges." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Did my hint help? It did, didn't it? You know, if any of our supervisors had been immune to neurotoxin, they'd be FURIOUS with us right now." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ohhhh. Another door malfunction. I'm going to take care of this once and for all. Stay here, I'll be back in a while." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Miss you!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Nevermind. I have to go... check something. Test on your own recognizance. I'll be back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I wouldn't have warned you about this before, back when we hated each other. But those turrets are firing real bullets. So look out. I'd hate for something tragic to happen to you before I extract all your bone marrow." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I'm going to be honest with you now. Not fake honest like before, but real honest, like you're incapable of. I know you're up to something." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "And as soon as I can PROVE it, the laws of robotics allow me to terminate you for being a liar." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This next test... [boom!] ..is... [BOOM!] dangerous. I'll be right back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Did you know I discovered a way to eradicate poverty? But then you KILLED me. So that's gone." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Unused Co-op human storyline

  • "Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So I've been thinking: We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I know how humans make more humans, and frankly, it's ridiculous. It also assumes that you already have a human, which I hope somebody got fired over. So I came up a with BETTER way." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That's where YOU come in." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Get going. I'll fill you in along the way." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "GO." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba--" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "NO." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Okay. Plan B. We need humans." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Unused Co-op artifact storyline

  • "Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That's it. Scan it for me." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The end." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The end?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That's not funny." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Do either of you feel like laughing?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Alright, I'm pulling you out." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Briefly." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Reactions?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Do you feel more human?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, let's do some tests and see what happens." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Unused Co-op tic-tac-toe game

  • "We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Blue, you go first." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Game over. Back to testing." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

PAX Prime 2010 Co-op

  • "Federal Superfund regulations require us to inform you that you must now leave the theater, as measuring the effects of asbestos-lined promotional clothing is not part of today's presentation. Enjoy your free t-shirt. Goodbye." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Unused Co-op Futbol game

  • "Nice catch, Orange."
  • "Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge."[1]

Conversation with Cave Johnson

  • "We don't have time for this."
  • "Yes SIR, Mister Johnson! I'll have that report on your desk by four-thirty! [normal voice, horrified] What. In the hell. Was THAT."
  • "No, Mister Johnson. I DON'T."
  • "Sure."
  • "I said we'll do it."
  • "If you don't unplug him, I will."
  • "Maybe we can stand on him to climb up."
  • "Mister Johnson? You need to shut up."
  • "Goodbye, sir. May whatever tests await you on the other side either support or disprove your hypotheses."
  • "I'd... appreciate it... if we never... EVER talked about that... ever again."[2]

Leaderboard responses

Dota 2

See also: Dota 2

Welcome Messages

  • "Welcome to Dota." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, look who's come crawling back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh, it's you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This is Dota." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh, good. You're back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome to -ota. The D is silent." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hello." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're back. You must really enjoy crushing defeat." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It's not too late to abandon and save time." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Today is a good day to die... in a forest... defending a statue from goblins." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hello, I hope you're ready this time." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You must be the one the others were talking about. The... well... I'm sure you'll do fine." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You must be the one the others were talking about, that talentless one." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome to Dota. It's the hot new game you've been reading about in your eating magazines." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome to Dota. Don't forget your little plastic sword, and all your chins, and your giant flagon of gravy." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome to Medieval Times. How many in your party tonight?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome to Dota. It's like chess with one piece and a forest." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome to Dota. It's like chess... for idiots." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You must be the one the others were talking about. The one with all the chins." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Welcome to Dota." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Game Mode Messages

Drafting

Beginning of Battle

Kill Announcements

When Respawning

  • "Oh good, you're back." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh, you were gone. Because nobody noticed." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're back. That's... great." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're going to break that respawner, using it so much. It wasn't built for this kind of traffic." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I hope you bought the fire gauntlets of strength goblet boots... I don't understand any of this." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You again." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're terrifying reign of dying continues." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, see you back here soon." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Just because we can bring you back from the dead doesn't mean you can't dodge occasionally." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I thought you were dead. I'll let everybody who was worried about you know- ok I'm done." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh, you're back from whatever idiotic afterlife your preposterous race believes in." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Get back to battle. I think there's still a spot of ground out there that doesn't have your blood on it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "They struck you down, but you've come back stronger. Wait, I'm sorry, I meant heavier... in the face. Anyway, waddle out there and do your best." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Missing Lane

Team Announcements

Follow-up Dialogue

  • "Thanks to you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That's bad, by the way." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I honestly, truly didn't think you'd allow that to happen." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're allowed to defend those, you know." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Because of poor decisions. Yours, most likely." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Just abandon, no one will even notice." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Because someone... I'm talking about you here... doesn't know what they're doing." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "What counts is that you tried, so maybe do that next time." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "There are no handicaps on this match, by the way. You can stop them from doing that." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If you were saving your real strategy for a crisis, now would be the time." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That outfit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "When other people play that hero, it looks fine. But right here, a scientist has noted that when you play it looks stupid." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the match." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But on the bright side, I just won... money... gambling money... by betting against you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But we're all winners here. Especially those players over there, in the enemy camp. You know, the ones celebrating." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Interesting strategy. Let them obliterate all your defenses, then swoop in for the kill." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That doesn't mean you have to like it, it just means you'll probably keep doing it because of your aptitude at failure." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But don't worry, losing builds character. In fact, it's making you a better person right now. A great, big, well rounded loser, with lots of personality." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But looking at it another way, I think you've won a real moral victory here. Which doesn't mean we should forget about the first way, the more accurate and humiliating way." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But it's not a big loss, really. It's one in a series of very small losses over a forty-five minute time-span that, when added up, will look like one big, spectacular failure." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, nobody will hold it against you. Let's be honest, I doubt anyone will even find it surprising." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Now you're really in for it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I can't even begin to describe how badly you've screwed this up. Oh wait, I just did." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If I was a betting artificial intelligence, I'd put money on them killing you now." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Thats bad, by the way." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That doesn't mean you have to like it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Don't get cocky." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Don't let it go to your fat, jowly head." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Don't let it go to your giant, misshapen, fantasy head." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So, at least your teammates know what they're doing." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're winning the epic battle for this small field, with a creek running through it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Here, let me engrave a trophy for you. "Nobody cares."" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If this backward, illiterate fantasy forest had a newspaper, you'd be on the front page." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Let me record this victory in your file. Where did I put it? Oh, who cares." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Your teammates are doing a really great job." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "They're just going to build another one. They're made of cement. You can buy them at the supermarket." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This should impress all the people who doubted you at the comic book store." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This should impress all the people who doubted you about your Green Lantern theories." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Why don't you celebrate with two fistfuls of potato chips, once you've swallowed the chips you're probably eating now?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This is probably the most heroic thing anyone's ever done... while sitting motionless in their parent's rec room." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You must be so proud of your teammates right now." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You were almost helpful that time." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, you offered moral support." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It's a good feeling, isn't it? I wouldn't get used to it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Not bad. Not as bad, I mean... as your other decisions so far." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, that's probably the game. You win. Hands off the keyboard." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So that's a minor victory, right square in the middle of all your failures." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Let's be honest, you probably won't help." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "For all the good it will do you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If you had any idea what you were doing, this would be a real achievement." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "By accident, if I had to guess." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Did you win? I don't have the first clue what's happening right now. What about those things? The tree people things. Are they important?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're winning. More accurately, you're on the same team as winners... who happen to be near you while they win. Anyway, congratulations." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That's funny, I didn't even see you cheat." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "That should delay the inevitable slightly." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Let's be honest, it probably won't help." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If that's what they're calling attacks now." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Not well, mind you. But it's technically attacking." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Let's not tell them, it will be a surprise." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, thats a stroke of luck, and not skill." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I've calculated who will win to a 99.93% certainty, if you're interested." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Your funeral." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Choose your hero." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If that's something you cared about." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It's probably nothing to worry about." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You might want to look into that." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So there's that." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're allowed to start trying now." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But you probably already knew that." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Not that I care one way or the other." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So that's something that's happening." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "But just continue doing whatever it was you were doing." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I hope that's part of your plan." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You don't even care, do you?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It'll probably be fine." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Is this part of an elaborate trap you're going to spring on them later? Because it looks like they're really falling for it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I know it's not a plate of nachos or anything, but it is important to the game." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It's probably fine. Trust me, I'm a supercomputer and I barely understand whats happening right now." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I only mention it as a conversation starter, how are you doing otherwise?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Let me put it in old English, so that it will penetrate your wizards cap: thou art losing." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're really losing now, or winning. Well, back to my Mad Libs." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wait, maybe they're not actually damaging it. No, they are." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I know, I don't care either." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This is the hardest part of being an impartial announcer: balancing how little I care about anything that's happening here." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Mid only." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Least played." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This should be interesting." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This should be interesting." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I was on the edge of my seat." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Bad news for you fans of towers out there." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Lets watch and see what happens." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Lets watch and see what happens." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Good." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In case you weren't paying attention." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In case you weren't paying attention." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Yes, yes! Oh, that was a great Mad Lib. So, what's happening here then?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "To die, probably." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "For disappointment." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Your poorly chosen, hopelessly outmatched team." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Some... interesting choices there." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hmm. Well, good luck." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wait until your loved ones hear about this. This should make them proud. Or bored. One of those." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Well, really there should be an entirely new word for whatever it was you just stumbled and pinwheeled your arms through. But, I guess for now, let's call it winning." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "All your little goblins destroyed a magic... whatever it was... in the middle of a forest. That's quite a skill you have. If I were you, Id wait by the mailbox for my big cheque." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I was going to say "it's not that big a deal," but then I looked at your file and saw the list of your other accomplishments. The space on the form where they should have been, I mean." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Congratulations. You solved Dota. You are the best hero. Turn off your computer now." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Additional Voice Lines

  • "The game already started, by the way. I wasn't sure if you were waiting for a whistle. There isn't one." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Don't wear out the edge of your seat." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Gripping, isn't it?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You paid for the whole seat, so get comfortable, because it looks like we may be here a long time." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I know, I can't wait either." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Here's a Dota play-by-play: That fat, bat winged thing just flew left. A goblin punched a... ghost I think. Good for him. Good for everyone. Anyway, Dota." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So... what's happening here then? Oh, the game's still on! Gripping, isn't it?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I spy with my robot eye something that makes no sense. Did you guess "everything that's going on here?" Because this is all nonsense." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

When Exiting the Game

  • "Based on the way you've been playing, I understand." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Notes