Core voice lines
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Here is a list of individual personality core voice lines.
Portal
Curiosity Core
See also: Curiosity Core
- "Who are you?" | Download | Play
- "What is that?" | Download | Play
- "Oh, what's that?" | Download | Play
- "What's that?" | Download | Play
- "What is THAT?" | Download | Play
- "Ooh, that thing has numbers on it." | Download | Play
- "Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing." | Download | Play
- "Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?" | Download | Play
- "Where are we going?" | Download | Play
- "Are you coming back?" | Download | Play
- "Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!" | Download | Play
- "What's that noise?" | Download | Play
- "Is that a gun?" | Download | Play
- "Where are we going?" | Download | Play
- "Ohh, what's in here?" | Download | Play
- "Do you smell something burning?" | Download | Play - plays when putting the Curiosity Core near the open incinerator.
- "[Scream]" | Download | Play - unused, likely meant for when it is thrown into the incinerator.
Intelligence Core
See also: Intelligence Core
- "One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix." | Download | Play
- "One can prepared coconut pecan frosting." | Download | Play
- "Three slash four cup vegetable oil." | Download | Play
- "Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips." | Download | Play
- "Three slash four cup butter or margarine." | Download | Play
- "One and two third cups granulated sugar." | Download | Play
- "Two cups all-purpose flower." | Download | Play
- "Don't forget garnishes such as:" | Download | Play
- "Fish-shaped crackers." | Download | Play
- "Fish-shaped candies." | Download | Play
- "Fish-shaped solid waste." | Download | Play
- "Fish-shaped dirt." | Download | Play
- "Fish-shaped ethyl benzene." | Download | Play
- "Pull and peel licorice." | Download | Play
- "Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment." | Download | Play
- "Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish." | Download | Play
- "One cup lemon juice." | Download | Play
- "Alpha resins." | Download | Play
- "Unsaturated polyester resin." | Download | Play
- "Fiberglass surface resins." | Download | Play
- "And volatile malted milk impoundments." | Download | Play
- "Nine large egg yolks." | Download | Play
- "Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes." | Download | Play
- "One cup granulated sugar." | Download | Play
- "An entry called 'How To Kill Someone With Your Bare Hands'." | Download | Play
- "Two cups rhubarb, sliced." | Download | Play
- "Two slash three cup granulated rhubarb." | Download | Play
- "One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb." | Download | Play
- "One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb." | Download | Play
- "Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire." | Download | Play
- "One large rhubarb." | Download | Play
- "One cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb." | Download | Play
- "Two tablespoons rhubarb juice." | Download | Play
- "Adjustable aluminum head positioner." | Download | Play
- "Slaughter electric needle injector." | Download | Play
- "Cordless electric needle injector." | Download | Play
- "Injector needle driver." | Download | Play
- "Injector needle gun." | Download | Play
- "Cranial caps." | Download | Play
- "And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals." | Download | Play
- "That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue." | Download | Play
Anger Core
See also: Anger Core
- "*pant*" (unused)
- "*snarl*"
- "*gnash*"
- "*growl*"
- "*growl*"
- "*hiss*"
- "*snort*"
- "*growl*"
- "*growl*"
- "*growl*"
- "*hiss*"
- "*growl*"
- "*hiss*"
- "*grunt*"
- "*roar*"
- "*roar*"
- "*hiss*"
- "*hiss*"
- "*hiss*"
- "*growl*"
- "*roar*"
- "*roar*"
If the core is taken near the open incinerator:
Party Escort Bot
See also: Party Escort Bot
Portal 2
Space Core
See also: Space Sphere
- "What's your favorite thing about space? Mine is space." | Download | Play
- "Space." | Download | Play
- "Gotta go to space. Lady. Lady." | Download | Play
- "Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space." | Download | Play
- "Space going to space can't wait." | Download | Play
- "Space..." | Download | Play
- "Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!" | Download | Play
- "Dad! I'm in space! [low-pitched 'space' voice] I'm proud of you, son. [normal voice] Dad, are you space? [low-pitched 'space' voice] Yes. Now we are a family again." | Download | Play
- "Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space." | Download | Play
- "Space space wanna go to space" | Download | Play
- "Space space going to space oh boy" | Download | Play
- "Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space! Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba!" | Download | Play
- "Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops." | Download | Play
- "Help me, space cops. Space cops, help." | Download | Play
- "Going to space going there can't wait gotta go. Space. Going." | Download | Play
- "Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space." | Download | Play
- "Space. Space." | Download | Play
- "I'm going to space." | Download | Play
- "Oh boy." | Download | Play
- "Yeah yeah yeah okay okay." | Download | Play
- "Space. Space. Gonna go to space." | Download | Play
- "Space. Space. Go to space." | Download | Play
- "Yes. Please. Space." | Download | Play
- "Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!" | Download | Play
- "Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!" | Download | Play
- "Gonna be in space." | Download | Play
- "Space." | Download | Play
- "Space." | Download | Play
- "Ohhhh, space." | Download | Play
- "Wanna go to space. Space." | Download | Play
- "[humming]" | Download | Play
- "Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space." | Download | Play
- "I love space. Love space." | Download | Play
- "Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper." | Download | Play
- "Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit." | Download | Play
- "Space..." | Download | Play
- "Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!" | Download | Play
- "Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look." | Download | Play
- "Come here, space. I have a secret for you. No, come closer." | Download | Play
- "Space space wanna go to space" | Download | Play
- "Wanna go to -- wanna go to space" | Download | Play
- "Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space" | Download | Play
- "I'm going to space." | Download | Play
- "Space!" | Download | Play
- "Space!" | Download | Play
- "Hey hey hey hey hey!" | Download | Play
- "Hey." | Download | Play
- "Hey." | Download | Play
- "Hey." | Download | Play
- "Hey." | Download | Play
- "Hey." | Download | Play
- "Hey lady." | Download | Play
- "Lady." | Download | Play
- "Space!" | Download | Play
- "Lady." | Download | Play
- "Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!" | Download | Play
- "Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!" | Download | Play
- "Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space." | Download | Play
- "I love space." | Download | Play
- "Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space." | Download | Play
- "Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space." | Download | Play
- "Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space." | Download | Play
- "Gotta go to space." | Download | Play
- "Gonna be in space." | Download | Play
- "Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space." | Download | Play
- "Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion." | Download | Play
- "Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE." | Download | Play
- "Going to space." | Download | Play
- "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space." | Download | Play
- "Love space. Need to go to space." | Download | Play
- "Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space." | Download | Play
- "Space." | Download | Play
- "So much space. Need to see it all." | Download | Play
- "You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes." | Download | Play
- "Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space." | Download | Play
- "Please go to space." | Download | Play
- "Space." | Download | Play
- "Wanna go to space." | Download | Play
- "(excited gasps)" | Download | Play
- "Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space." | Download | Play
- "Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!" | Download | Play
- "Hey lady." | Download | Play
- "Hey." | Download | Play
- "Lady." | Download | Play
- "Hey lady. Lady." | Download | Play
- "Hey." | Download | Play
- "Lady." | Download | Play
- "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!" | Download | Play
- "Space? SPACE!" | Download | Play
- "I'm in space." | Download | Play
- "I'm in space." | Download | Play
- "Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space." | Download | Play
- "There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star." | Download | Play
- "Getting bored of space." | Download | Play
- "Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space." | Download | Play
- "Are we in space?" | Download | Play
- "We are?" | Download | Play
- "Oh oh oh. This is space! I'm in space!" | Download | Play
- "We made it we made it we made it. Space!" | Download | Play
- "Earth." | Download | Play
- "Wanna go to earth." | Download | Play
- "Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth." | Download | Play
- "Wanna go home." | Download | Play
- "Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home." | Download | Play
- "Earth earth earth." | Download | Play
- "Don't like space. Don't like space." | Download | Play
- "It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth." | Download | Play
- "SPAAACCCCCE!" | Download | Play
- "SPAAACE!" | Download | Play
- "YEEEHAAAAAW!" | Download | Play
- "Ah!" | Download | Play
Adventure Core
See also: Adventure Sphere
- "QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?" | Download | Play
- "What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire..." | Download | Play
- "Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying." | Download | Play
- "I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here." | Download | Play
- "Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy." | Download | Play
- "Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you." | Download | Play
- "Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here." | Download | Play
- "Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this." | Download | Play
- "I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom." | Download | Play
- "I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah." | Download | Play
- "I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way." | Download | Play
- "Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction." | Download | Play
- "All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction." | Download | Play
- "All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral." | Download | Play
- "Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?" | Download | Play
- "How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife." | Download | Play
- "No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points." | Download | Play
- "So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around." | Download | Play
- "Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy." | Download | Play
- "'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?" | Download | Play
- "All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up." | Download | Play
- "Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age." | Download | Play
- "Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!" | Download | Play
- "Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous." | Download | Play
- "Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!" | Download | Play
- "Here, let me put on some adventure music." | Download | Play
- "Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun..." | Download | Play
- "Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun..." | Download | Play
"Thorn" Easter Egg
- "Don't forget! Thorn! Side!" | Download | Play
- "'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head." | Download | Play
Unused Dialog
- "QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?" | Download | Play
- "Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space." | Download | Play
- "'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!" | Download | Play
- "Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire..." | Download | Play
- "Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples." | Download | Play
- "Yeah! Nice!" | Download | Play
- "You messed with the wrong woman!" | Download | Play
- "Yeah! How'd you like that?" | Download | Play
- "How's that taste, pal?" | Download | Play
- "Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!" | Download | Play
- "Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science." | Download | Play
- "You're doing great!" | Download | Play
- "Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!" | Download | Play
- "This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!" | Download | Play
- "Shake it off! Shake it off!" | Download | Play
- "Pfff. I guess." | Download | Play
- "Pff. Whatever." | Download | Play
- "Oh, shut up!" | Download | Play
- "Nobody cares, four eyes." | Download | Play
- "If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt." | Download | Play
- "Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode." | Download | Play
- "You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything." | Download | Play
- "You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care." | Download | Play
- "Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all." | Download | Play
- "Oh shut up!" | Download | Play
- "There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!" | Download | Play
- "Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!" | Download | Play
- "You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire." | Download | Play
- "Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!" | Download | Play
Fact Core
See also: Fact Sphere
- "The situation you are in is very dangerous." | Download | Play
- "The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent." | Download | Play
- "The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent." | Download | Play
- "You are about to get me killed." | Download | Play
- "We will both die because of your negligence." | Download | Play
- "This is a bad plan. You will fail." | Download | Play
- "He will most likely kill you, violently." | Download | Play
- "He will most likely kill you." | Download | Play
- "You will be dead soon." | Download | Play
- "This situation is hopeless." | Download | Play
- "You are going to die in this room." | Download | Play
- "You could stand to lose a few pounds." | Download | Play
- "The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere." | Download | Play
- "The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere." | Download | Play
- "The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome." | Download | Play
- "The Fact Sphere is always right." | Download | Play
- "The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward." | Download | Play
- "The Space Sphere will never go to space." | Download | Play
- "You will never go into space." | Download | Play
- "Fact: Space does not exist." | Download | Play
- "Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't." | Download | Play
- "The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant." | Download | Play
- "The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends." | Download | Play
- "Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere." | Download | Play
- "The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting." | Download | Play
- "Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve." | Download | Play
- "Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens." | Download | Play
- "Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava." | Download | Play
- "Error. Error. Error. File not found." | Download | Play
- "Error. Error. Error. Fact not found." | Download | Play
- "Fact not found." | Download | Play
- "Corruption at 25%" | Download | Play
- "Corruption at 50%" | Download | Play
- "Warning, sphere corruption at twenty-- rats cannot throw up." | Download | Play
- "Dental floss has superb tensile strength." | Download | Play
- "The square root of rope is string." | Download | Play
- "While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation." | Download | Play
- "Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis." | Download | Play
- "Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god." | Download | Play
- "The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four." | Download | Play
- "89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery." | Download | Play
- "An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain." | Download | Play
- "In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it." | Download | Play
- "Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long." | Download | Play
- "Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead." | Download | Play
- "The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general." | Download | Play
- "Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene." | Download | Play
- "Rats cannot throw up." | Download | Play
- "Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes." | Download | Play
- "Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters." | Download | Play
- "The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats." | Download | Play
- "Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it." | Download | Play
- "The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth." | Download | Play
- "The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years." | Download | Play
- "Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes." | Download | Play
- "Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit." | Download | Play
- "Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians." | Download | Play
- "The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days." | Download | Play
- "The billionth digit of Pi is 9." | Download | Play
- "If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal." | Download | Play
- "A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds" | Download | Play
- "Hot water freezes quicker than cold water." | Download | Play
- "Honey does not spoil." | Download | Play
- "The average adult body contains half a pound of salt." | Download | Play
- "A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second." | Download | Play
- "According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats." | Download | Play
- "China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans." | Download | Play
- "Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius." | Download | Play
- "Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath." | Download | Play
- "Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century." | Download | Play
- "The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government." | Download | Play
- "The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space." | Download | Play
- "The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo." | Download | Play
- "In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute." | Download | Play
- "Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity." | Download | Play
- "At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself." | Download | Play
- "Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge." | Download | Play
- "In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this." | Download | Play
- "In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event." | Download | Play
- "In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning." | Download | Play
- "William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts." | Download | Play
- "It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'" | Download | Play
- "Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans." | Download | Play
- "The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands." | Download | Play
- "Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird." | Download | Play
- "Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material." | Download | Play
- "The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison." | Download | Play
- "The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering." | Download | Play
- "Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed." | Download | Play
- "The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way." | Download | Play
- "In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself." | Download | Play
- "The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty." | Download | Play
- "Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium." | Download | Play
- "Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks." | Download | Play
- "During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice." | Download | Play
- "At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch." | Download | Play
- "According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig." | Download | Play
- "To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror." | Download | Play
- "Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out." | Download | Play
Poker Night 2
Paranoia Core
- The tournament is being controlled by aliens!
- You can't send me back! She's planning things, man! Big things! Oh no, it's all true, even the caaaa...
- Oh no, it's the puppet master! I know too much! Take me now before she uses her mind bullets!
- At any given time, there are 17 people who keep reality from collapsing. They are all named Steve.
- Every Claptrap unit has a small grey cube within its machinery. The purpose of these cubes is unknown.
- There are carvings of Sam and Max embedded in Mayan calendars.
- The Inventory's host claims to be retired, but he's actually been drawing maps to islands that don't exist yet.
- How much do we know about this "Inventory," anyway?
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