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| Line 2,003: |
Line 2,003: |
| * {{Voice line|GLaDOS|dlc1_leaderboard23}} | | * {{Voice line|GLaDOS|dlc1_leaderboard23}} |
| * {{Voice line|GLaDOS|dlc1_leaderboard24}} | | * {{Voice line|GLaDOS|dlc1_leaderboard24}} |
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| == Poker Night 2 ==
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Good evening. This completes the first test of the contestants' poker faces. Bad news is you all failed miserably. The good news is you appear to be evenly matched. (Departs)
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''Ash''': You're killing me here, GLaDOS.
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| :'''GLaDOS''': If I were actually killing you, there would be a lot more screaming. And irony.
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': It's a mathematical certainty that 80% of you are going to lose tonight. And 100% of you will eventually die. (Beat) Math is fun, don't you think?
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': (ring) Excuse me. I have to take this. Something or someone appears to be exploding back at the lab. (powers down)
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| :'''Sam''': You know, I've met a lot of robots, but I don't think I've come across one with trans-dimensional cell phone coverage.
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| :'''Brock''': Yeah, well, that's the least of robot girl secrets.
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| :'''Claptrap''': We're not talking crime game secrets, are we?
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| :'''Brock''': Not even close. The way I hear it, when GLaDOS was plugged in, she went coo-coo bananas and wiped out the scientists that created her.
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| :'''Sam''': You'd be amazed how many robots do that.
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| :'''Brock''': And now she haunts the lifeless labs of Aperture Science performing inhuman experiments on anyone unlucky enough to fall in her mechanical clutches.
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| :'''Claptrap''': That. Is. So. Hot!
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| :'''GLaDOS''': (powers up) False alarm, everyone. The explosions turned out to be implosions; which are much easier to contain. Did I miss anything?
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| :'''All''': (negatory remarks)
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Did you know that the term 'blinds' was coined by a blind poker in the 19th century? Of course you didn't. Because it's a lie. In any event, I'm upping the blinds to 1200 to 2400.
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Management froze me out of the lighting systems after I created a strobe effect to induce seizures in a bus full of freemasons. It was an... illuminating experiment.
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| :'''Ash''': You made that up just for the pun, didn't you?
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Maybe. Say cheese. (flashes camera)
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Brock Sampson has been eliminated.
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| :'''Brock''': This is a joke, right?
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| :'''GLaDOS''': I'm not very good at jokes, but here's one: What's yellow and black and red all over?
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| :'''Brock''': What?
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Brock Sampson if he doesn't leave this table.
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| :'''Brock''': Uhh... good one.
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|
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| <hr width=50%>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Cpngratulations. You've won. I'm hoping you weren't expecting baked desserts because I don't do that anymore.
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Actually, I think that Mr. Williams' hand is fully functional and its nervous tapping appears to be induced by an outside force. I'll see if I can isolate it.
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| :'''Brock''': No bother, it's morse code. D... R... I... N...
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| :'''GLaDOS''': K. M. O. R. E. B.
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| :'''Brock''': A... N... A... N... G...
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| :'''Ash''': Drink more Banang. Huh.
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Your hand has apparently been possessed by a marketing department.
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|
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': It appears you have lost all your chips. Oh, well. It's only money. Your money. $20,000 of it. Right down the drain.
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': The robot from Pandora is out of chips.
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| :'''Claptrap''': Darn it, I forgot to turn on my poker subroutine. Can I get a do-over?
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Your question has activated my rarely used giggle center. (softly) Hee, hee.
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| :'''Claptrap''': Rats!
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| <hr width=50%/>
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Congratulations. You've converted a nearly unbeatable hand into a victory.
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| :'''Claptrap''': Why can't I get cards like that?
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| :'''GLaDOS''': Because you're a moron.
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| :'''Claptrap''': Well, I'd like a second opinion on that.
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| :'''Brock''': It's true. You're a moron.
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| == Notes == | | == Notes == |
