Perpetual Testing Initiative (video)
"Perpetual Testing Initiative" Video Transcript
|Cave Johnson here.
Every time I look at our test chamber production line,
I am reminded of my father.
Now, he wasn't a scientist.
Just a simple farmer.
A professor of farming at the local farm college.
Never farmed a day in his life.
But his theories on farming are the backbone of this company.
Do it from scratch.
Spare no expense.
And NEVER cut corners.
Well, that's a-
we obviously cut them there.
Point is, we've always done things the way my father did.
And his father before him,
And his father before him, and his father before him,
And his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him.
And we are almost bankrupt.
So: time for a cheaper approach.
Allow me to introduce...
Infinite Earths, with an infinite number of Apertures.
And as of now,
THEY are gonna take over all test chamber construction.
And more importantly,
all PAYING for test chamber construction.
Why are they agreeing to do that?
we're tricking them.
Here's how it works.
One: Design a test.
Two: Slip the mole monsters or what-have-you
the blueprint when they're not looking.
Three: Once they build it,
steal it back.
Look at that sad little octopus.
[Laughs] Heh heh.
That's where you come in.
We need blueprints.
We are about to run the greatest con game
in the history of the multiverse,
and YOU are the bottleneck.
Get back to work.
[Begin inspirational music]
[Continue inspirational music]
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