Boots (video)

Boots is a video which was released by Valve on April 12, 2011 in order to promote Portal 2. The video takes the form of an Aperture Laboratories investment opportunity video, and uses a combination of Aperture Science's hallmark animations and pre-rendered footage to showcase the advantages of the Long Fall Boots.

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"Boots" Video Transcript

Transcript

[Aperture Science theme plays as the Aperture logo appears.] Cave Johnson: Hello investors, Cave Johnson here. [A blueprint diagram of the Handheld Portal Device is shown, named as "Quantum Tunneling Device".] Cave Johnson: Now I know you've sunk a lot of money into the dual-portal device. [The Portal Device is pulled apart to show its inner mechanisms in two further diagrams.] Cave Johnson: But I'm here to tell you we're not banging rocks together over here. We know how to make a quantum space hole. [Cut to a first-person view, reading "Test subject vitality trial: Vertical Deceleration Chamber" in the bottom left corner. A time counter and a heart rate graph are at the top right.] Cave Johnson: Caroline?- [The subject jumps off, shooting a blue portal on a slanted wall to the left and a orange portal on the floor in front.] Cave Johnson: See, portal here, portal there... [After falling through the orange portal, the subject's point of view turns to the right, showing a wall with height markings: 500m, 450m, etc.] Cave Johnson: Heh heh! Look at this thing go! [Red lights in the chamber turn on. The heart rate on the top-right monitor becomes erratic, and the subject swings their limbs in panic as they fall toward the floor.] [Static cut to an animated scene. A stick-figure test subject crashes on the floor at a light blue painted target, and its limbs pop off as the Portal Device lands nearby.] Cave Johnson: Now, we have run into a reproducible human error problem: a lot of expensive equipment getting broken. [Two stick figures come in with a stretcher. One of them picks up the Portal Device and places it onto the stretcher. Portal Device’s “head” breaks.] Cave Johnson: But don't worry, Cave took care of it. [The both of them leave as panel sets unfold and scoop the injured stick figure into a fire pit hidden in the floor.] [Zoom out to show a platform with a test chamber door above the painted floor target. Another subject is on the platform, wearing white boots.] Cave Johnson: Gentlemen, I give you the Long Fall Boot. [A rotating diagram is shown of the Long Fall Boot. The platform is raised to an extreme height. The diagram changes to a close up of the subject jumping from a height of 1100m.] Cave Johnson: Think of it as a foot-based suit of armor for the portal device. [The subject lands safely onto the painted target and cheerfully puts its arms up. Fade to a closeup of Chell's boots.] Cave Johnson: I'm not gonna lie to you, it's expensive as hell. But check this out - we told this test subject to just go ahead and try to land on her head. [Chell rebounds off an Aerial Faith Plate, and shoots and falls through portals while sliding off clear panels and doing flips in mid-air.] Cave Johnson: Heh heh. She can't do it. Good work, boots. [After falling a great distance, Chell lands in a crouch. The camera shakes. Chell stands up and walks offscreen.] Cave Johnson: So anyway, we're between banks right now, just make those checks out to cash. Cave Johnson: Cave Johnson, we're done here. [The Portal 2 logo appears.]