Portal 2 All Singleplayer Voice Lines

Here is all singleplayer voice lines of portal 2.  In Progress

Chapter 1: The Courtesy Call

Relaxation Chamber

• Announcer: "Good morning. You have been in suspension for -FIFTY- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER]" | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER]" | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER]" | Download | Play
• Announcer: "You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music. [MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]" | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Good. Now please return to your bed." | Download | Play

• Announcer: "Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine... nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]" | Download | Play

Before Opening The Door

• Wheatley: "Hello? Anyone in there?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Helloooo?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Are you going to open the door? At any time?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Hello? Can y--no?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Are you going to open this door? Because it's fairly urgent." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh, just open the door! [to self] That's too aggressive. [loud again] Hello, friend! Why not open the door?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "[to self] Hm. Could be Spanish, could be Spanish. [loud again] Hola, amigo! Abre la puerta! Donde esta--no. Um..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Fine! No, absolutely fine. It's not like I don't have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it's not like this place is about to EXPLODE." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Alright, look, okay, I'll be honest. You're the LAST test subject left. And if you DON'T help me, we're both going to die. Alright? I didn't want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? Dead. Dos Muerte." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Hello!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Helloooooooooooo!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Go on!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Open the door!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Hello!" | Download | Play

Wake-Up Call

• Wheatley: "HA! I knew someone was alive in here." | Download | Play Line plays upon door open but is interrupted after "HA!" by the next line, when Wheatley sees Chell.
• Wheatley: "AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl-- ummm... good. Looking good, actually." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Are you okay? Are you - Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Please prepare for emergency evacuation." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Stay calm! 'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh. You MIGHT want to hang onto to something. Word of advice, up to you." | Download | Play

• Wheatley: "You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "But don't be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Do you understand what I'm saying? At all? Does any of this make any sense? Just tell me, 'Yes'." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just... you just jumped. But nevermind. Say 'Apple'. 'Aaaapple.'" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Simple word. 'Apple'." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Just say 'Apple'. Classic. Very simple." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Ay. Double Pee-Ell-Ee." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Just say 'Apple'. Easy word, isn't it? 'Apple'." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "How would you use it in a sentence? 'Mmm, this apple's crunchy,' you might say. And I'm not even asking you for the whole sentence. Just the word 'Apple'." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay, you know what? That's close enough. Just hold tight." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown." | Download | Play

Container Ride

• Wheatley: "Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "How you doing down there? You still holding on?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Hold on! This is a bit tricky!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "And of course nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oi, it's close... can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Agh, just... I just gotta get it through here..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay, I've just gotta concentrate!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks -- and no one's gonna ask, don't worry -- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but-- well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Whew. There we go! Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But... um... at least you're a good jumper. So... you've got that. You've got the jumping on your side. Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Alright, off you go!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Go on. Just... March on through that hole." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Yeah, it's alright. Go ahead." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "I know I've painted quite a grim picture of your chances. But if you simply stand here, we will both surely die." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "So, once again, just... move along. One small step and everything." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Go on." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "On ya go." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Your destination's probably not going to come meet us here. Is it? So go on." | Download | Play

• Wheatley: "That's the spirit!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Good luck!" | Download | Play

Test Chamber 00

• Announcer: "Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support, so that science can still be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three. Two. One." | Download | Play

• Announcer: "Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim." | Download | Play

• Announcer: "Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it." | Download | Play

If the player has already passed through the Emancipation Grill after the "cube and button-based testing" information:

• Announcer: "You have just passed through an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which vaporizes most Aperture Science equipment that touches it." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 01

• Announcer: "If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Good!" | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Because of the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Before re-entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing, please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 02

• Announcer: "If the Earth is currently governed by a manner of animal-king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason, th- [RECORDING SHORTS OUT]" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Hey hey! You made it!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "There should be a portal device on that podium over there." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "I can't see it though... Maybe it fell off. Do you want to go and have a quick look?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "It's alright. No, go on, just have a look about." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "No, that's right. Over by the podium, yeah." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Just---if you just--okay, just stand by the podium and just look up." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "That's it, no, that's it! Yeah." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Whoa!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Can you see the portal gun?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "I'm--do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "I'll wait--I'll wait one hour. Then I'll come back and, assuming I can locate your dead body, I'll bury you. Alright? Brilliant! Go team! See you in an hour! Hopefully! If you're not... dead." | Download | Play

• Announcer: "Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all lethal military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected your rights as detailed in the Laws of Robotics, please note it on your self-reporting form. A future Aperture Science Entitlement Associate will initiate the appropriate grievance-filing paperwork." | Download | Play

Test Chambers 03 & 04

• Announcer: "This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One. [SMOOTH JAZZ]" | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Great work! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments." | Download | Play

If the player manages to go through the exit without both cubes on the buttons:

• Announcer: "You have trapped yourself. Congratulations. The exit door is now open." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 05

• Announcer: "If the Enrichment Center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris DOES NOT appear to be a deliberate part of the test." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Well done! The Enrichment Center reminds you that although circumstances may appear bleak, you are not alone. All Aperture Science personality constructs will remain functional in apocalyptic, low power environments of as few as 1.1 volts." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 06

• Announcer: "This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, God help you." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing." | Download | Play

Test Chambers 7 & 8

• Announcer: "To ensure that sufficient power remains for core testing protocols, all safety devices have been disabled. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this policy." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh, brilliant. You DID find a portal gun! You know what? It just goes to show: people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave." | Download | Play

If player has not placed a portal on Wheatley's side of the room before he finishes the previous line:

• Wheatley: "Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Just pop a portal right behind me there, and come on through to the other side." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Pop a little portal, just there, alright? Behind me. And come on through." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Right behind me." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Alright, let me explain again. Pop a portal. Behind me. Alright? And come on through." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Pop a portal. Behind me, on the wall. Come on through." | Download | Play

If player has not crossed the placed portal to the other side before he finishes the "found portal gun" line:

• Wheatley: "Come on through." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Come on through to the other side." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Come on through." | Download | Play

Disengagement from Rail

• Wheatley: "Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy. They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my Management Rail. Or I would DIE. But we're out of options here. So... get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "On three. Ready? One... Two..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that--" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchmecatchme" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "OW." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "OW..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead! [laughter]" | Download | Play

If player has not picked up Wheatley by the time he finishes the previous line

• Wheatley: "I can't move, though. That's the problem now." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Are you still there? Can you pick me up, do you think? If you are there?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Hello? Can you--can you pick me up, please?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Sorry, are you still there? Could you--could you pick me up?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "If you ARE there, would you mind... giving me a little bit of help? [nervous laugh] Just picking me up." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Look down. Where am I? Where am I?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "On the floor. Needing your help. The whole time. All the time. Needing your help." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up. Um." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Look down. Who's that, down there, talking? It's me! Down on the floor. Needing you to pick me up." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "I spy with my little eye, something that starts with 'f'." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Do you give up? It was the floor. Lying down on the floor. Is where I am. Needing you to pick me up." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Don't want to hassle you. Sure you're busy. But--still here on the floor. Waiting to be picked up." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Now I spy something that starts with an 'a'." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Give up? Also the floor. Was the answer that time. Same as before. Still on the floor." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "What are you doing, are you just having a little five minutes to yourself? Fair enough. You've had a rough time. You've been asleep for who knows how long. You've got the massive brain damage. And you're having a little rest. But NOW. Get yourself up. And pick me up." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh! Brilliant, thank you, great." | Download | Play

Plug-in scene

• Wheatley: "Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. Yeah? And I'll show you something. You'll be impressed by this." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Go on. Just jam me in over there." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Right on that stick over there. Just put me right on it." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "It is tricky. It is tricky. But just... plug me in, please." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Plug me into that stick on the wall over there. I'll show you something." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "It DOES sound rude. I'm not going to lie to you. It DOES sound rude. It's not. Put me right on it. Stick me in." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Ummmm. Yeah, I can't do it if you're watching." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Seriously, I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "I can't... I can't do it if you're watching. [nervous laugh]" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "I can't do it if you're watching. If you.... just turn around?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "What's that behind you? It's only a robot on a bloody stick! A different one!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Alright. [nervous laugh] Can't do it if you're leering at me. Creepy." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Okay. Listen. I can't do it with you watching. I know it seems pathetic, given what we've been through. But just turn around. Please?" | Download | Play

Secret Panel

• Wheatley: "Alright, you can turn around now!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "BAM! Secret panel! That I opened. While your back was turned." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Pick me up. Let's get out of here." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Pick--would you pick me up?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "[laugh] Would you pick me up?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Hey! Pick me up!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Pick me up, don't forget to pick me up!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Might want to just pick me up." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Oh! Oh! Don't leave me behind! Do pick me up, if you would..." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Just, ah... pick me up. Take me with you." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Ohhh. Remember when you picked me up? Five seconds ago! Ohhh, that was amazing! Do it again, pick me up again!" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Let's do it again! Pick me up again!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "And off we go." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go! OH, this is brilliant. We can go where ever we want! Hold on, though, where are we going? Seriously. Hang on, let me just get my bearings. Hm. Just follow the rail, actually." | Download | Play

First Oracle Turret Appearance

• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh no..." | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Yes, hello! No, we're not stopping!" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Excuse me?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Don't make eye contact whatever you do..." | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Excuse me?" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "No thanks! We're good! Appreciate it!" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "I'm different..." | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Thanks anyway..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Keep moving, keep moving..." | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Hello?" | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "I'm different..." | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Take me with you..." | Download | Play
• Oracle Turret: "Take me with you..." | Download | Play

(The Oracle Turret lines might not be in correct order)

Her Chamber

Entrance to GLaDOS's Ruined Chamber

• Wheatley: "Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing. Option B: Go through there, and if she's alive, she'll almost certainly kill us." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "So. If you've got any reservations whatsoever about this plan, now would be the time to voice them." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Riggght now." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "In case you thought to yourself, 'I've missed the window of time to voice my reservations.' Still open." | Download | Play

Passing through GLaDOS's Ruined Chamber

• Wheatley: "Okay, I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't... Don't go in there - She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "There she is..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "I know! I know, I wouldn't have believed it either." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Apparently this human escaped and nobody's seen him since." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Then there was a sort of long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happened and then there's us escaping now. So that's pretty much the whole story, you're up to speed. Don't touch anything." | Download | Play

Jump down the stairs

• Wheatley: "Okay, down these stairs." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay, down those stairs, please?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance, isn't it?" | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms, though. Gonna have to rely on the old human strength to keep a grip on the device and, by extension, me. So do. Do make sure to maintain a grip." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Also, a note: No braces on your spine, either. So don't land on that. Or your head, no braces there. That could split like a melon from this height. [nervous chuckle] Do definitely focus on landing with your legs." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "Quick question: Have you been working out? Because there's no evidence of it. I'm not a plastic cup. We will be landing with some force. So a bit of grip. Just using grip. Classic grip." | Download | Play
  • Wheatley: "So go ahead and jump. What's the worst that could happen? Oh. Oh wait, I just now thought of the worst thing. Oh! I just thought of something even worse. Alright. New, better plan: no imagining of any potential outcomes whatsoever. Just jump, into the abyss, there, and let's see what happens." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "[yelling]" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job. You've applied the grip. We're all fine. That's tremendous." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "AH! I- Sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "AH! I've just done it again." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "I just now realized that I used to rely on my management rail to not fall into bottomless pits. And you're my rail now. And you can fall into bottomless pits. I'm rambling out of fear, but here's the point: don't get close to the edge." | Download | Play

Breaker Room

• Wheatley: "This is the main breaker room." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Let's go in!" | Download | Play If player has not entered by the time he finishes above line
• Wheatley: "Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else. Don't even LOOK at anything else, just--well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find ESCAPE POD, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say ESCAPE POD, look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any--well, look at other things, but don't... you understand." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "'Let there be light.' That's, uh... God. I was quoting God." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Now, escape pod... escape pod..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "It's... It's moving up." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay! No, don't worry! Don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! THIS should slow it down!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "No. Makes it go faster." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Uh oh." | Download | Play

GLaDOS Reawakening

• Announcer: "Powerup initiated." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay don't panic! Allright? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... umm..." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "A...A...A...A...A... Umm... A." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "[BUZZER NOISE]" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Nope. Okay. A... A... A... A... A... C." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "[BUZZER NOISE]" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "No. Wait, did I do B? Do you have a pen? Start writing these down." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "Powerup complete." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Hello!" | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Oh... It's you." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "You KNOW her?" | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "It's been a long time. How have you been?" | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME." | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "You did WHAT?" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Aggggh!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh no! nonononono!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Oh no no no... No! Nooo!" | Download | Play
• Wheatley: "Gah!" | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "I will say, though, that since you went to all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first." | Download | Play

Incinerator

• GLaDOS: "Here we are. The Incinerator Room. Be careful not to trip over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you threw them down here." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "The dual portal device should be around here somewhere. Once you find it, we can start testing. Just like old times." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "There it is." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Hold on..." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "There." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Good. You have a dual portal device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Once testing starts, I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum. Luckily, we haven't started testing yet. This will be our only chance to talk." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Here, let me get that for you." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "I was able - well, forced really - to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "You know, if you'd done that to somebody else, they might devote their existences to exacting revenge." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Luckily I'm a bigger person than that. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. More or less. I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "After that...who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead, maybe." | Download | Play

Chapter 2: The Cold Boot

Test Chamber 1

• GLaDOS: "Sorry about the mess. I've really let the place go since you killed me. By the way, thanks for that." | Download | Play
• Announcer: "[beep] Sarcasm Self Test complete. [beep]" | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Oh good, that's back online. I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Not bad. I forgot how good you are at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 2

• GLaDOS: "This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I'd just finished building them before you had your, well, episode. So now we'll both get to see how they work." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "There should be one in the corner." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 3

• GLaDOS: "Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Congratulations. Not on the test." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 4

• GLaDOS: "One moment." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and... do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "I'll give you credit: I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don't have to go THAT slowly." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Waddle over to the elevator and we'll continue the testing." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 5

• GLaDOS: "This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!" | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Here's an interesting fact: you're not breathing real air. It's too expensive to pump this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you'll be breathing the same room full of air for the rest of your life. I thought that was interesting." | Download | Play

Test Chamber 6

• GLaDOS: "Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Faith Plates." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "*I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself." | Download | Play

• GLaDOS: "Oh, sorry. I'm still cleaning out the test chambers." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "So sometimes there's still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you." | Download | Play

If the player picks up a trash item

• GLaDOS: "You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage." | Download | Play
• GLaDOS: "You don't have to test with the garbage. It's garbage." | Download | Play

• GLaDOS: "Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now." | Download | Play