User:Party Escort Bot = Beans
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN UNMARKED SPOILERS.
Hello! I am a Portal player, and uh well, i destroyed GLaDOS, and i just discovered that the Party Escort Bot from the end of Portal is... just a lot of beans. No, really! Check it out for yourself, just watch a video of the ending of Portal in third person! You'll see, the unseen robot that drags you back into Aperture Science at the end of Portal... it's... it's... a pack of beans. Really.
- 1 Favorite Games
- 2 My version of the Portal storyline
- 3 My version of the Portal 2 storyline
- 4 My fanmade Portal 3 storyline
- 5 Other stuff...
- 6 Party Escort Beans Enrichment Center
- 7 A random message...
- 8 IMPORTANT STUFF
- 9 Party Escort Beans Laboratories
- 10 Adventure in the Unfinished Building
- 11 Party Escort Bot = Beans in real life?!
- 12 ALL of Party Escort Bot = Beans' currently used accounts!
- 13 Life Simulator
My version of the Portal storyline
Shortly after the Combine invasion of Earth, Chell awakens in a Relaxation Vault. Within only 10 seconds of awakening, a robotic and seemingly automated female voice welcomes Chell and informs her that she is a test subject. A Portal then opens after a strange malfunction in the robotic voice, which Chell enters. She notices the observation rooms which lack the staff that should be recording her performance.
After completing the first test and understanding the cube-and-button based mechanic, she is put through more tests to further understand the Portals mechanic.
In the second test, she recieves an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device that can only shoot blue portals. Later on, she is put through more dangerous tests with more mechanic learning such as High Energy Pellet redirection. She avoids these hazards and recieves another version of the Portal Device which can shoot blue and orange portals as she is put into increasingly dangerous tests, even getting put into a live-fire course designed for military androids. In it, she finds rooms with writings on the walls, telling her that "the cake is a lie" and that "she's watching her". She then discovers the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube which she is forced to incinerate at the end of the test chamber. The warnings were apparently true, as After the final test, she is driven into a death trap. Chell escapes the dramatically slow death trap and is informed that pretending to kill her was "simply part of the test." After understanding the mechanics of rocket redirection and getting put into a massive Sentry Turret ambush, she is forced to confront a massive robot, GLaDOS, which was the voice Chell only interacted with in the Enrichment Center, and succeeds. She regains consciousness in the parking lot of the Enrichment Center, with a lifeless GLaDOS beside her, and the Party Escort Bot thanks her for "assuming the party escort submission position", and begins dragging her back into the ruined Aperture Science Facility. As Chell is dragged away, it is revealed that the destruction of GLaDOS resulted in the activation of Personality Cores, tasked with the management of the Enrichment Center while GLaDOS is offline. The final scene shows another Companion Cube and a cake.
My version of the Portal 2 storyline
50 days after the events in Portal 2: Lab Rat, Chell is awakened in (seemingly) a motel room, later revealed to be an Extended Relaxation Center. An automated male voice informs her that Test Subjects have to be reawakened every 50 days. After doing some exercises, Chell goes back to bed.
She awakens again a VERY long time later, while the Announcer informs her that she was in stasis for "99999..99 [cut]". It is unknown what unit of time it is referring to, but it might just be that the system was completely corrupted.
She then hears a voice that asks her to "open the door". Chell opens the door only to see Wheatley, a Personality Core. Wheatley then tells Chell that he found a way to escape, and begins moving the Extended Relaxation Center and crashing most of the others, while the Announcer says that everybody should prepare "for a reactor meltdown". After finally finding a testing track, Chell is forced to redo the Portal test chambers in an overgrown state. At the second test (where the Portal Device was originally found on a pedestal) the floor collapses, only to reveal a room with murals drawn by Doug Ratmann, and Chell finds the Portal Gun. She then enters Test Chamber 03 from the broken Observation Room. Here, the Announcer mentions the Military Androids. Chell eventually makes it to Test Chamber 07, where Wheatley finds a way to escape. They accidentally re-activate the main computer, GLaDOS, and Chell is forced to go into even more tests. At the 21st Test Chamber, Chell and Wheatley escape, mess with the Turret Production Line, destroy the Neurotoxin Generator and need to confront GLaDOS again. They succeed and Wheatley takes over the Enrichment Center. Wheatley uploads GLaDOS' conciousness into a potato and, mad because of GLaDOS calling him a moron, smashes the elevator that Chell was in, making Chell and GLaDOS fall into the older Aperture Science parts from the 1950s to the 1970s. Before returning to the main facility, GLaDOS allies with Chell to confront Wheatley. They are put into his poorly-designed test chambers while he ignores warnings about a reactor meltdown. Wheatley attempts to kill Chell and GLaDOS, but Chell successfully escapes and finally confronts Wheatley. Chell tries to press the Stalemate Resolution Button - thinking GLaDOS would get back into her body - that Wheatley booby-trapped. Due to the long-ignored meltdown, the ceiling breaks to reveal a night sky, and Chell fires a portal on the moon. GLaDOS gets back into her body, brings Chell back into Earth, traps Wheatley in Space then finally gives freedom to Chell. GLaDOS then gives Chell the Companion Cube that Chell was forced to incinerate in the first Portal, as a way to give Chell no more reason to return to the Enrichment Center again. From now on, GLaDOS tests only two robots: Atlas and P-Body. At first, she likes that idea, but quickly gets bored because of the fact that robots cannot die. She sends them in Test Shaft 02, where they find a gigantic room full of human Test Subjects. GLaDOS starts testing them all, and, within a week of testing, all of the test subjects have died.
Well, i don't even know why i made this part. Just to show off my creativity i suppose.
My fanmade Portal 3 storyline
Please remember: This part is only fanmade and does not apply to the official Portal 3. If Portal 3 ever comes out, a part titled "My version of the Portal 3 storyline" will be made.
Possibly right after the events in Portal 2, Chell is still outside and notices a Heavy Duty Super Colliding Super Button. She places the Weighted Companion Cube on it, which makes the button malfunction and cause everything to collapse. Chell awakens in an abandoned part of Aperture Science, and it becomes clear that GLaDOS has never given Chell her freedom. It is revealed that the illusion of outside is just made out of giant screens and an artificial fog. Chell walks into a room with a screen on the ceiling. Wheatley apologizes for his actions, and the footage cuts to static as he is trying to tell his coordinates to Chell. The static suddenly changes to old footage with GLaDOS saying "I was the only thing standing between us... and them... well, I was". Chell finally remembers what happened to Earth and what the Combine did. As she navigates through the ruined Portal test chambers, she hears whispering coming from behind the walls. After reaching the now unsolvable Test Chamber 09 as the Heavy Duty button fell into the Emancipation Grill, Wheatley finally finds her, quickly apologizes, and they try to escape, once again. What has happened to GLaDOS?
After a long escape, they finally find themselves hiding in GLaDOS' chamber as she tests Atlas and P-Body. Wheatley claims he knows the robots, and Chell gets to a maintenance room. An escape pod is present. However, since it wasn't needed by GLaDOS, it was trapped, and an alarm starts. Not noticing Chell, GLaDOS starts flooding the room with neurotoxin as a tube breaks in the chamber. Chell and Wheatley get pulled into the tube as Chell falls inconscious.
Chell wakes up in the tube, only to discover that the facility has a lot changed since she left. She looks behind to see Wheatley panicking for an unknown reason. Chell hears a glass breaking sound, and turns around only to see strange Curiosity Core-like robots breaking the pipe. Chell immediately recognizes the Curiosity Core and thinks that it is taking revenge. However, before she could even reach it, she falls into a seemingly bottomless pit.
Chell and Wheatley finally wake up in an abandoned part of Aperture Science, where it is revealed that the Curiosity Core is cloned and recycled into Hover Turrets, and that the Anger Core is cloned and violently put into the Aperture Science Bombs. Panel arms start violently picking the bombs and throwing them everywhere. A neurotoxin tube breaks as another malfunctioning tube drops Propulsion Gel everywhere in the room. The panel arms start activating the Hover Turrets, which Chell manages to break by throwing them in a Shredder.
A panel arm starts grabbing Wheatley and throws him near Chell, where he unluckily and unfortunately falls into a Shredder. Chell must then escape alone. However, before she can reach the exit, another panel arm grabs Chell and throws her into a complex tube network. After a very long ride, Chell falls into a Weighted Companion Cube dropping Vital Apparatus Vent. The vent breaks as GLaDOS starts checking the cameras because of potential madness in the Enrichment Center. Turns out Chell is inside. GLaDOS claims she gave Chell her freedom, but Chell obviously doesn't believe.
GLaDOS puts Chell into more testing as she is the only human that can survive the tests. There are only 15 tests. At the 15th test chamber, GLaDOS once again attempts to murder Chell as she is corrupted. She drives Chell into a pit of acid, which she obviously escapes. Wheatley helps her escape.
Once again in the maintenance areas, Wheatley starts panicking as GLaDOS shuts down the power in the Enrichment Center. He soon runs out of power, and Chell has to escape - with Wheatley in hand - through a completely dark complex with the only light source being Chell's Portal Device. As the power comes back, Chell once again sabotages the repaired Turret production line, and destroys the new Neurotoxin Generator. However, there is one new weapon that Chell must get rid of: The Hover Turret.
Chell enters the Hover Turret manufacturing. No sign of defective Hover Turrets. A tube breaks in as Chell tries to sabotage everything. Hover Turrets enter from the tube, with Conversion Gel dropping into the previously non-portalable room. The window breaks as the entire Hover Turret production line is collapsing.
Chell then enters an elevator that brings her to a massive room full of deactivated turrets and an empty elevator shaft, and it becomes clear that the Enrichment Center is in serious disrepair. GLaDOS fails to manage a reactor meltdown, and the ceiling splits open to reveal the night sky. As Chell tries to escape, she accidentally shoots a portal on the moon. She and GLaDOS get on the moon as Wheatley, wanting to give GLaDOS the frustration of being with a core obsessed with space, throws her into outer space and brings Chell back. Chell finally awakens in an elevator.
Wheatley has apparently taken over Aperture Science again. However, he makes Chell's elevator rise to the surface, while quickly detaching himself from the central core body to escape with Chell. They finally end up walking on the surface and arriving at City 17. Wheatley is taken away by an Overwatch Soilder as the Overwatch announces that Anticitizen Two has arrived. The Aperture Science Enrichment Center is left abandoned as the Announcer takes over. The game ends with an Overwatch Soilder kidnapping Chell.
After that, the main menu shows GLaDOS' head in space, along with a radio playing "Want You Gone" and the Space Core orbiting around her. The space core's voice lines in the main menu are the following:
- Oh, a new person in space! Are you space? No, you're not space. We're in space.
- Ba, ba ba, ba, ba ba ba ba, ba ba, ba ba, ba, space, ba, space, ba ba ba, space, space.
- I'M IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAH!!!
- What's you're favorite thing about space? Mine is space. Oh, me too. Me too. Me too!
- I'M IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
- BLACK HOLE!
- GLaDOS- oh wait, that's NOT a space. Space, is that space? No, son. That isn't space. You heard that? You aren't space! Go away!
- Ba, ba ba. Space.
- Oh, a new person in space! It's not space. Uh no, it is space. Oops. I forgot. I'm gonna ask him.
Also check out the List of Portal 3 Entities.
No, you haven't reached the end of the page if you like reading. Here is a link to a complete listing of my pages:
A few facts!
Here are a few facts and did-you-knows about Portal, Portal 2, Party Escort Bot = Beans, and my fanmade Portal 3.
Did you know...
...that Greg replaces Caroline in the Portal 2 Perpetual Testing Initiative?
...that Aperture Science was originally known as Aperture Fixtures, later Aperture Science Innovators, Aperture, and then Aperture Laboratories?
...that FishDOS is an april fools joke made by Party Escort Bot = Beans?
...that Party Escort Bot = Beans doesn't actually like beans?
...that Party Escort Bot = Beans wants to know everything about the Party Escort Bot, and has even named him "Mr. Beans"?
There is apparently an issue on this page, where one of the "did-you-knows" is missing. It is possible to view it in view source mode. IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ENTIRELY MARKED AS A SPOILER, SO DO NOT READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED PORTAL 2 YET!
EDIT: Nevermind, it's fixed. EDIT 2: Okay, it's back. Guess you'll have to play Portal 2!
...GOTCHA! i am not the Fact Sphere...
Wheatley is a Weighted Companion Cube
According to this wiki, Wheatley was among the cores awakened at the end of Portal. The spherical replacement in Advanced Chamber 17 is actually a core, and GLaDOS names it "Weighted Companion Cube". So technically, Wheatley is a companion cube.
My full username, actually, would currently be:
Party Escort Bot = Beans, Wheatley = Companion Cube, Aperture Science = Inside of the moon if you dig down, inside of the earth if you rise to the surface! Portal = Half-Life 2; Portal 2 = Half-Life 3? (just kidding, just kidding.) GLaDOS = 3 heads, tim_larkin = Radio + Weapon = Bleeds? linked_portal_door = Antichamber, prop_linked_portal_door = Non-Euclidean geometry?! GLaDOS = computer; Windows = computer; GLaDOS = Windows *bsod*
I bet that part wasn't even interesting, just like all the rest of my page.
Party Escort Beans Enrichment Center
Welcome to the Party Escort Beans Enrichment Center. I am Party Escort Bot = Beans. I own the place. You're gonna do a few tests for me, and then you get 60$, cake and freedom as a reward, okay? I'll be honest, we use some Aperture Science technology. Obviously, we didn't buy them, we stole them. Why? Because the new owner of Aperture Science doesn't sell Aperture's products anymore, so we had to steal it secretly. Don't tell anyone, okay? Anyway, here is a list of the tests you'll have to do. I recommend you to start from the beginning, because the last test chambers are pretty hard. Okay, enough talking. Click on a test chamber on this list, and solve it.
A random message...
Okay. Look, this is a random message.
The random message
That actual message
Look up, then look back down and follow those instructions again. Infinite loop.
Is there even a message?
Yes. If you look down. By the way this text is getting smaller and smaller, it will definitely end up disappearing.
- Come on, look down.
The random message
- Don't stop scrolling, continue looking down.
That actual message
- Look up, then look back down, look back up, continue scrolling up until you get to the "A random message..." part then scroll back here. Once it's done, look down.
The message is: Hello.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH YOU JUST GOT TRICKED!!!!!!! LOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL
IT'S SOME EXTREMELY IMPORTANT STUFF RIGHT THERE.
If you see my userpage empty, REPORT IT TO ME IMMEDIATELY!!! I will repair the glitch later.
Party Escort Beans Laboratories
Party Escort Bot = Beans here. Welcome to the Party Escort Beans Laboratories. I own this place. Most of our experiments turn out to be failures; do NOT touch anything in the laboratories! You can enter our website here: Party Escort Beans Laboratories website
The Pointless Project
We, at the Party Escort Beans Laboratories, are happy to present you a new project: The Pointless Project. We know the name can be misleading; it's not actually the project itself that is pointless. The point of this project is to make an entire recreation of THIS wiki, with the pages changed to be... absolutely pointless. Don't worry, we're not actually going to edit all the pages to delete the information, as that could cause... major problems; We're actually going to copy the source of the pages, and paste it into one of my userpages; don't report us for vandalism as it isn't vandalism!
Reminder: We are not going to make the "real" pages pointless and informationless, we are going to make a re-cre-a-tion. Understood? Good.
These are all the pages currently done:
The Overgrown Portal Wiki Project
We, at the Party Escort Beans Laboratories, are happy to present you with a brand new artistic project: The Overgrown Portal Wiki Project. No, once again, it's not the project itself that is overgrown. You know, since she destroyed her, all of it is overgrown. Sorry, you completely misunderstood that sentence. I said "Since Chell destroyed GLaDOS, all of Aperture Science is overgrown". So we are launching the Overgrown Portal Wiki Project which is about using Paint.NET and ApertureScience.com's glados@home project to blurt out an overgrown Portal Wiki. Now, there's too much talking, and not enough viewing. Enough talking, click a page to see its overgrown version.
The Video Game Catastrophe Timeline Project
(exhausted) Hey. It's me. Party Escort Bot = Beans. [deep breath] I, you just heard that: I created a timeline... of all catastrophic events that ruined video games. Here is my timeline.
Adventure in the Unfinished Building
Adventure in the Unfinished Building is a new text-and-links game, inspired by Five Nights at Freddy's and made entirely in Hammer. Why? Because it's more like a text-and-images-and-links type of game. Yep, there's images now. To make you scared. Of the lighting. Of course.
- Signed, Party Escort Bot = Beans (in real life).
Party Escort Bot = Beans in real life?!
Yep, i now have a Wikipedia account, with the exact same name as the one i use here, on the Portal wiki. I have a Valve Developer Community account too, but the page is blank. Email issues. Thanks, new MediaWiki. Wow, this writing is tiny. Can you even see this one? lolololol Oh, wait, i'm talking to myself again. Anyway, for any other accounts, check out the section down here...
ALL of Party Escort Bot = Beans' currently used accounts!
Here are all my currently used accounts! Not on the Portal Wiki, since i only use one, this one. I mean all my accounts on other sites/games/whatever.
Steam: Duh. I'm not even telling you.
Portal: Ditto, it's the Steam account.
Portal 2: Re-ditto, it's the Steam account
Sploder: sinkingshiplover (Note: almost dead!)
Wikipedia: Party Escort Bot = Beans
Valve Developer Community: Party Escort Bot = Beans (userpage is dead. Cuz' it was never born! Hahahahahahhaaa!!!!)
Portal 3: Re-re-ditto, it's the Steam account, and even if it wasn't, it would be the same as Portal.
Five Nights at Freddy's: system crash
Five Nights at Freddy's 2: system crash
Five Nights at Freddy's 3: system crash
Five Nights at Freddy's 4: error: game in development
Five Nights at Freddy's 5: error: game non-existant
Five Nights at Me's: Same as ROBLOX. Cause it's a roblox game! HahahahahahhahahahhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHEEEEEEHH!!! system crash
So, yep, all these people, turned out to be a single person. And it's not over.
Welcome to Life Simulator!
Current version: Pre-Alpha 0.0.0 test 01
Previous versions: None
A frequently updated game, that follows the adventure of [ insert name here ] throughout his life, from his birth to his death. And all that, in less than a real-life year.
Note: If you die in-game, and the result is a GAME OVER, then you died because of an incident. However, if you die and see The End, then it means your character has reached the end of his life, and that the game has ended.