The Wheatley Rap
The Wheatley Rap is a Portal music parody created by Harry Callaghan about Wheatley rapping his story of life before and after he is thrown to space, featuring the Space Core and Sentry Turrets.
Video
Lyrics
Hey my name's Wheatley; I'm a brilliant little core!
I didn't know what to expect when I opened up that door!
I showed her where the gun was; she progressed like a pro!
Such a good jumper too...
(Trust me, I know!)
When we found GLaDOS, I kinda woke her up!
She wasn't happy, nooo... she crushed me like a cup!
Found a great big bird; it put me on my rail!
When I found Chell again, I tried to tell her the tale!
(But!)
That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!
We went behind the scenes to try and escape!
She tried to crush us again: got through without a scrape!
Destroyed her neurotoxin and replaced all the turrets!
Turns out they're pretty useless without any bullets!
We made it to her chamber; I was ready to insert!
Then Chell pressed the button...oooh, man that hurt!
I did lose control, I'll be the first to admit...
I even punched Chell down a deadly pit...
That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!
With GLaDOS out the picture, I could call the shots!
Did a little digging and came across the bots!
Had a real bad itch and needed to do some tests!
But first I had to deal with those troublesome pests!
Chell and the potato, made it to my lair!
I only tried to help them; it just wasn't fair!
Then Chell shot a portal on to the moon!
And it sucked us out like a big typhoon!
That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!
Spaaaaace!
Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!
Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!
Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!
That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his shit!
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!
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