Cave Johnson voice lines: Difference between revisions

*Caroline, do you think anyone’s gonna make it this far? Should I even bother making a message? What? Yes, I know how to turn it off. No, I don't want to turn it off... Alright, I feel like turning it off now.

*'''If you’re hearing this, it means you’re taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction.''' Well, as a wise man once said, “there’s nothing to fear but fear itself and maybe some mild to moderate jellification of bones.” Besides, to borrow from the voodoo sham known as “psychiatry,” it sounds to me like these eggheads are partaking in what they’d call “projection.” I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who never did anything more brave than boil some manganese - whatever the hell that accomplishes - that sounds like what they'd call "projection.” '''THEY didn’t fly into space, storm a beach, or bring back the gold. No sir, we did! It's you and me against the world, son! I like your grit! Hustle could use some work, though. Now let’s solve this thing!''' Alright. Too much jawing, not enough testing. Let’s get some science done.

*'''Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired. Not you,''' son ''("test subject" in-game)'', '''you're doing fine. Yes, you. Fired. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.''' Caroline, follow him out. Make sure he doesn’t cry all over the carpet.

*'''Congratulations!''' You made it through. '''The simple fact that you’re standing here listening to me means you’ve made a glorious contribution to science.''' You’re a national hero. We're going to take your picture, so stand there and smile. Unless you were part of the Plaque Removing Deuterium Fluoride Laser test, in which case you might want to do us all a favor and keep your mouth closed until the bleeding stops. And don't worry: If you're one of our DNA test subjects, and you've got a hand for a face or whatnot, we’ll photograph you from the neck down. '''As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests.''' We’re planning some wonderful stuff with time travel. So if you never liked your father, why not come on back and try being him? '''We’re not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it’s good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there’ll always be a limo waiting for you. Say goodbye, Caroline. She is a gem.'''