Cave Johnson voice lines: Difference between revisions

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This is a complete list of [[Cave Johnson]]'s voice lines from [[Portal 2]].
== 50's ==
== 50's ==
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_elevator_out_a01.wav|"They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture we do all our science from scratch, no hand holding."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_elevator_out_a01.wav|"They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here. At Aperture we do all our science from scratch, no hand holding."]]
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== 70's ==
== 70's ==
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro02.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro02.wav|"Right. Now you may be asking yourself 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phonebook of a contract I signed. Am I in danger?'"]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro04.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro04.wav|"Let me answer those questions with a question, who wants to make sixty dollars?! Cash."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro06.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro06.wav|"You can also feel free to relax for upto twenty minutes in the waiting room. Which is a damn sight more comfortable then the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro07.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro07.wav|"For many of you I realize sixty dollars is an unprecedented windfall so don't go spending it all on, I dunno, Caroline what do these people buy? Tattered hats, beard dirt."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro14.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro14.wav|"So, welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Nope, couldn't keep a straight face."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro15.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro15.wav|"Anyway don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro16.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_intro16.wav|"Greetings friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science. You might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 senate hearings on missing astronauts, and you've most likely used one of the many products we invented, but that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt..."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_outro01.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_outro01.wav|"Thank you! [Under his breath] I can't believe I'm thanking these people. For staggering your way through Aperture Science's Propulsion Gel testing, you've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that humanity is grateful."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_outro02.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_outro02.wav|"If you had any belongings please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_complete05.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_complete05.wav|"This one? [Taps microphone] Hey, listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator, not a bathroom."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_complete06.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_complete06.wav|"Great job astronaut, war hero and or Olympian. With your help we're gonna change the world [Tape speeds up]."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_intro01.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_intro01.wav|"The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_intro02.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_a_intro02.wav|"Caroline are the compensation vouchers ready?"]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_b_complete01.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_b_complete01.wav|"If you're interested in an additional sixty dollars, flag down a test associate and let them know. You could walk out of here with a hundred and twenty weighing down your bindle if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together good as new."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_b_complete03.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_b_complete03.wav|"In case you're interested there's still some positions available for that bonus opportunity I mentioned earlier. Again, all you gotta do is let us disassemble you. We're not banging rocks together here, we know how to put a man back together."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_b_complete04.wav|""]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson seventies_test_b_complete04.wav|"So that's a complete reassembly. New vitals, spitshine on the old ones, plus we're scooping out tumours. Frankly you oughta be paying us."]]


== 80's ==
== 80's ==
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*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro06.wav|"[Coughs] Now she'll argue, she'll say she can't. She's modest like that, but you make her! [Coughs]"]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro06.wav|"[Coughs] Now she'll argue, she'll say she can't. She's modest like that, but you make her! [Coughs]"]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro07.wav|"Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro07.wav|"Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro08.wav|"Alright test over [Coughs] You can head on back to your desk."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro08.wav|"Alright test over, [Coughs] you can head on back to your desk."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro09.wav|"Alright I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!"]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro09.wav|"Alright I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!"]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro11.wav|"DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER. MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN! [Coughs]"]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson eighties_outro11.wav|"DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER. MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN! [Coughs]"]]


== Unknown for now ==
== Between test chambers ==
*[[Media:Cave Johnson cave_laugh04.wav|"Haha."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests01.wav|"The average human male is about sixty percent water. As far as we're concerned that's a little extravagant. So if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal. We're gonna hit you with some jet engines and see if we can't get you down to twenty or thirty percent."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests01.wav|"The average human male is about sixty percent water. As far as we're concerned that's a little extravagant. So if you feel a bit dehydrated in this next test, that's normal. We're gonna hit you with some jet engines and see if we can't get you down to twenty or thirty percent."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests02.wav|"For this next test we put some nano particles in the gel. In layman's terms that's a billion little gizmo's that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumours."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests02.wav|"For this next test we put some nano particles in the gel. In layman's terms that's a billion little gizmo's that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumours."]]
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*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests26.wav|"Now if you're part of control group Kepla 7 we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there. But if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test let us know. Because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees so gonna need to go ahead and get that out of ya pretty fast."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests26.wav|"Now if you're part of control group Kepla 7 we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there. But if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test let us know. Because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees so gonna need to go ahead and get that out of ya pretty fast."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests28.wav|"Alright we're working on a little teleportation experiment. Now this doesn't work with all skin types so try to remember which skin is yours and if it doesn't teleport along with you we'll do what we can to sew you right back into it."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests28.wav|"Alright we're working on a little teleportation experiment. Now this doesn't work with all skin types so try to remember which skin is yours and if it doesn't teleport along with you we'll do what we can to sew you right back into it."]]
*[[Media:Cave Johnson cave_laugh04.wav|"Haha."]]


[[Category:Voice lines]]
[[Category:Voice lines]]

Revision as of 12:28, 24 April 2011

This is a complete list of Cave Johnson's voice lines from Portal 2.

50's

70's

80's

Between test chambers