Cave Johnson voice lines: Difference between revisions
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*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_second_test_intro01.wav|"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: Make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day."]] | *[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_second_test_intro01.wav|"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: Make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day."]] | ||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests02.wav|"For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. In layman's terms, that's a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumors."]] | |||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests03.wav|"Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too."]] | |||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_second_test_complete03.wav|"Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel."]] | *[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_second_test_complete03.wav|"Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel."]] | ||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_second_test_complete02.wav|"We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: It's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton."]] | *[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_second_test_complete02.wav|"We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: It's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton."]] | ||
===1957=== | ===1957=== | ||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests08.wav|"All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos."]] | |||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests10.wav|"Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face."]] | |||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_into_middle_of_test01.wav|"Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me."]] | *[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_into_middle_of_test01.wav|"Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me."]] | ||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_into_middle_of_test02.wav|"Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive."]] | *[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_into_middle_of_test02.wav|"Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive."]] | ||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests07.wav|"Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction."]] | |||
===1958=== | ===1958=== | ||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson misc_tests26.wav|"Now, if you're part of Control Group Kepler-Seven, we implanted a tiny microchip about the size of a postcard into your skull. Most likely you've forgotten it's even there, but if it starts vibrating and beeping during this next test, let us know, because that means it's about to hit five hundred degrees, so we're gonna need to go ahead and get that out of you pretty fast."]] ''Note: the game files say "Control Group Seven-Dee" instead.'' | |||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_fourth_test_complete01.wav|"I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on."]] | *[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_fourth_test_complete01.wav|"I'm telling 'em, keep your pants on."]] | ||
*[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_fourth_test_complete02.wav|"Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business."]] | *[[Media:Cave Johnson fifties_fourth_test_complete02.wav|"Alright, this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business."]] | ||