User:Tark/Aperture Desk Job responses: Difference between revisions

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=== Grady ===
=== Grady ===
* {{Voice line|grady0119_500}}
* {{Voice line|Grady|grady0119_500}}
* {{Voice line|Grady|grady0119_501}}
* {{Voice line|Grady|grady0119_501}}
* {{Voice line|Grady|grady0119_502}}
* {{Voice line|Grady|grady0119_502}}

Revision as of 03:25, 11 March 2022

Characters

Cave Johnson

  • "Welcome to the Aperture Science Competence Center for our most gifted Employees. I'm Cave Johnson. And if you're hearing this, YOU are exceptional. No, don't be bashful, it's true. No false modesty." | Download Download | Play
  • "Let's get started." | Download Download | Play
  • "Look at all those tubes, stretching off in the distance. Every one of them's taking something important to a genius who's gonna use it to change the world forever. A genius just like you." | Download Download | Play
  • "How are you gonna change the world? Well, that's up to you. History will remember what you do here today. Do not let us, and by 'us', I mean all of us, all of humanity... down." | Download Download | Play
  • "So congratulations. You are about to take part in the greatest science adventure at the greatest applied sciences company on Earth. This is important work and you're just the genius to do it." | Download Download | Play
  • "So congratulations. This is important work and you're just the genius to do it." | Download Download | Play
  • "God gave you these gifts. I'm givin' you the opportunity to use them." | Download Download | Play
  • "Well, here's your lab." | Download Download | Play
  • "I don't mind telling you, we're excited up here. Moon-landing excited. Newton. Einstein. Now you." | Download Download | Play
  • "Good luck, world's best scient--!" | Download Download | Play
  • "You. In the overalls. Get to work or you're fired." | Download Download | Play
  • "...zip zap zop, that is how you inspect a toilet. I hope you were paying attention because I'm not saying any of that twice. Look, it's not rocket science. It's not even toilet science. Here's everything you need to know: See that light on the wall?" | Download Download | Play
  • "If that light goes on you're fired." | Download Download | Play
  • "Hey there. It's me. Cave Johnson." | Download Download | Play
  • "No, no. Not behind the giant head. I AM the giant head." | Download Download | Play
  • "I'm gonna level with you. A few years back, I got real sick. Body riddled with disease. I was a goner." | Download Download | Play
  • "Threw every dollar I had at it. Told those eggheads: 'Hey. Eggheads. Make me live forever.'" | Download Download | Play
  • "Now. I know what you're thinking: 'You gave the smartest engineers on Earth a blank check to make you immortal... And THIS is what they came up with? A giant head?' [chuckles] Off by a mile. No." | Download Download | Play
  • "They figured out how to put my consciousness in a computer. That's what's in the giant head." | Download Download | Play
  • "Their first plan was to put me in a regular brain-sized computer. Then they'd put that in a robot body and hey presto." | Download Download | Play
  • "Well, turns out you can't fit an entire human mind in a computer that small. All I could do was tell time and know what my name was." | Download Download | Play
  • "So they kept making it bigger. Big enough to cram every last bit of me into this thing." | Download Download | Play
  • "What happened to my robot body? Still under the head somewhere, all crushed up. Couldn't support the weight." | Download Download | Play
  • "So: the lab boys put me in the big head, switched me on and- I don't know- I panicked. Killed a few of them. Said I'd kill more if they ever came back.Honestly, I regret that now." | Download Download | Play
  • "Anyway, that was four years ago. Been trying to get somebody's attention ever since. Get their butts up here and end my suffering." | Download Download | Play
  • "Anyway, that was four years ago. Been trying to get somebody's attention ever since." | Download Download | Play
  • "Get their butts up here and end my suffering." | Download Download | Play
  • "Now, don't worry about me, it's been a full life. But we're done here. I'm itchin' for the next step. Heck, I'm excited about it." | Download Download | Play
  • "Don't even think of it as killing me. You're breaking me out of prison. I'm just data now. I need you to crack this big clay head open so I can spill out into the universe." | Download Download | Play
  • "So. What do you two eggheads got?" | Download Download | Play
  • "Good stuff. Let's see it." | Download Download | Play
  • "Hey, hey, hey! I can't talk over the sound of you shooting me. Do you want me to tell you why I'm a giant head or not?" | Download Download | Play
  • "Right. Where was I?" | Download Download | Play
  • "...giant head..." | Download Download | Play
  • "...riddled with disease..." | Download Download | Play
  • "...eggheads..." | Download Download | Play
  • "...immortality..." | Download Download | Play
  • "...started with the small head..." | Download Download | Play
  • "...it got bigger..." | Download Download | Play
  • "Ah. Now I remember." | Download Download | Play
  • "Actually, that's about it. So. Got any ideas?" | Download Download | Play
  • "Fine fine fine, I'm trapped in a head, I'm sad, you're fired, the end. If you're not gonna help, get out of my office - wait. What is THAT thing?" | Download Download | Play
  • "Huh. Fine, you're provisionally unfired. Let's see it." | Download Download | Play
  • "Well? I'm waiting." | Download Download | Play
  • "You showing me something or what?" | Download Download | Play
  • "Is it your tough looking sidekick with the neck tattoo and prison muscles?" | Download Download | Play
  • "I am standing here waiting to be impressed. Sitting here. Resting in this area. Tilted on my side." | Download Download | Play
  • "So is that it? It just stands there. Like a... whatayacallit, in fountains and the like. Statue." | Download Download | Play
  • "Well if your invention is you standing there, that's already been invented." | Download Download | Play
  • "Is your invention that toilet? If your invention is that toilet, this demonstration is over." | Download Download | Play
  • "Whoa! That'll work!" | Download Download | Play
  • "Ha ha!" | Download Download | Play
  • "Keep it up!" | Download Download | Play
  • "And the two of you invented this? I love this thing." | Download Download | Play
  • "I'll be honest: I thought you were two lunatics who'd dragged a toilet up here. But you're geniuses!" | Download Download | Play
  • "Keep going!" | Download Download | Play
  • "Is it working? It FEELS like it is working." | Download Download | Play
  • "How does it look? I can't see my own head." | Download Download | Play
  • "Is it working? I'm in the head, I can't see." | Download Download | Play
  • "Son, this thing's made of clay. It's all weak spot." | Download Download | Play
  • "Really? How big? Doesn't matter! Keep shooting!" | Download Download | Play
  • "What?" | Download Download | Play
  • "So shoot the metal." | Download Download | Play
  • "Is it working? I think it's working!" | Download Download | Play
  • "It's not working, is it?" | Download Download | Play
  • "It doesn't feel like it's working, but you're the eggheads." | Download Download | Play
  • "Uhp. Here we go. Powerin' down. The Great Beyond." | Download Download | Play
  • "I'll give you two credit. That is one hell of an invention." | Download Download | Play
  • "You did it. You figured out how to end my suffering." | Download Download | Play
  • "Alright. Suffering ended in three... two... ahhhhh." | Download Download | Play
  • "You're both fired." | Download Download | Play
  • "I'm gonna need your key cards. Just lay 'em down in front of the head. Not too close to the chin or I won't be able to see 'em." | Download Download | Play
  • "Uh oh" | Download Download | Play
  • "Keep shooting!" | Download Download | Play
  • "What's going on over there?" | Download Download | Play
  • "What's going on, you two?" | Download Download | Play
  • "Hey! What is happening right now?" | Download Download | Play
  • "I am this close to cancelling your provisional unfiring." | Download Download | Play
  • "Ha ha!" | Download Download | Play

Grady

Announcer / Prison Warden

Prison Warden
  • "Inmate's name is now preserved for the permanent record as:" | Download Download | Play
  • "Given that the offender has faithfully observed the rules of the institution, offender has been granted supervised, early release." | Download Download | Play
  • "Please sign for your possessions. Inmate's possessions are as follows: Desk. One." | Download Download | Play
  • "Inmate must state their name, print their name, then sign their name." | Download Download | Play
  • "[sighing] Moving on. Now type your name." | Download Download | Play
  • "Type your name." | Download Download | Play
  • "Type your name into the desk." | Download Download | Play
  • "Sign your name." | Download Download | Play
  • "Sign your name." | Download Download | Play
  • "Inmate must sign their name." | Download Download | Play
  • "As a condition of supervised early release, parolee and desk agree to report within 15 [muffled] days to their parole officer." | Download Download | Play
  • "Parolee and desk must maintain employment at our residence." | Download Download | Play
  • "Parolee and desk must avoid criminal activity." | Download Download | Play
  • "Parolee and desk must refrain from destroying warehouses, labratories, or other Aparture-owned or operated facilities." | Download Download | Play
  • "Parolee and desk must not leave the premises of Aperture without permission from their parole officer." | Download Download | Play
  • "Desk must participate in community restitution work." | Download Download | Play
  • "Failure to follow these conditions of parole will result in reincarceration." | Download Download | Play
  • "'It is never too late to mend.' You are both free to go." | Download Download | Play
  • "Moving on. Now sign your name." | Download Download | Play
  • "Conditions of parole are as follows." | Download Download | Play
  • "After the tone, state your name into the desk." | Download Download | Play
  • "State your name after the tone." | Download Download | Play
  • "Say your name after the tone." | Download Download | Play
  • "After the tone, say your name. Out loud." | Download Download | Play
  • "After the tone, say your name, with your voice, into the desk." | Download Download | Play
  • "Parolee has waived their right to state their name. This has been noted in their record. Moving on. Now: Type your name." | Download Download | Play
  • "Offender must sign name on the same desk used to state name and print name." | Download Download | Play
  • "Inmate must print their name, then sign their name." | Download Download | Play

Desk Launch Control

Desk Launch Control
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