5
edits
→Perpetual Testing Initiative
| Line 122: | Line 122: | ||
*"[throat clear] This thing on? I'm gonna be brief. Because I'm dying. Because I got shivved. A lot. I just wanna get it on record that using force fields for doors in a space prison is a bad idea. You know what would have been better? Regular doors. With locks. Locks that don't open when the power goes out. [cough cough] Man, those blue force fields looked good, though. Every time I saw one, I thought, Wow. I am in space. Still though. A door made out of paper would have been better in the long run. Would have at least slowed 'em down for a second. Anyway. [cough] Anybody not escaping or shivving me, get back to work." | *"[throat clear] This thing on? I'm gonna be brief. Because I'm dying. Because I got shivved. A lot. I just wanna get it on record that using force fields for doors in a space prison is a bad idea. You know what would have been better? Regular doors. With locks. Locks that don't open when the power goes out. [cough cough] Man, those blue force fields looked good, though. Every time I saw one, I thought, Wow. I am in space. Still though. A door made out of paper would have been better in the long run. Would have at least slowed 'em down for a second. Anyway. [cough] Anybody not escaping or shivving me, get back to work." | ||
*"Those of you who volunteered to be injected with homo sapien DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news: bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of man-mantises. Pick up a set of foreleg spurs, mesothorax armor and tubercle sheaths. You'll know when the test starts." | *(In alien voice)"Those of you who volunteered to be injected with homo sapien DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news: bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of man-mantises. Pick up a set of foreleg spurs, mesothorax armor and tubercle sheaths. You'll know when the test starts." | ||
*"It's come to my attention that over half of our test subjects have only recently awoken from extended relaxation and were unaware that we're testing in space. So there it is: No conspiracy. No twist. We're in a test satellite orbiting the Earth. Commonly available information that absolutely anyone would have told you if you'd bothered to ask. Please stop forming groups of adventuring parties to uncover the big secret, because it's that we're in space." | *"It's come to my attention that over half of our test subjects have only recently awoken from extended relaxation and were unaware that we're testing in space. So there it is: No conspiracy. No twist. We're in a test satellite orbiting the Earth. Commonly available information that absolutely anyone would have told you if you'd bothered to ask. Please stop forming groups of adventuring parties to uncover the big secret, because it's that we're in space." | ||