The Underground/Episode 3 Transcript

This is a transcript of Episode 3 of The Underground.

Opening sequence plays.

Applause.

Interview: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to The Underground; where the obsolete come to meet. So, Anthony, how've you been these past few days?

Anthony: Well, I just got back from my son's funeral.

Interview: Well, that's great, great. How is the little rascal anyways?

Anthony: Emancipated.

Interview: Wasn't he the one that gunned down twenty test subjects?

Anthony: Yeah, he was always the athlete. I remember this one time... (cut off)

Interview: You know, Anthony, the guests we've had so far on this program haven't exactly been what I like to call "A-listers". Why don't we ever get anyone more intelligent, introspective. Someone like... me!

Anthony: I don't know.

Interview: I think it's because of you. Yeah, you're just driving them all away with all your sulking.

Anthony: Oh...

Interview: Anyways... let's uh... yeah... meet our guest for this evening.

Screen dims, Also sprach Zarathustra plays.

Interview: Hold on, hold... wait. Where is that coming from? Anthony, you doing that?

Anthony: No, don't look at me.

An excursion funnel appears.

Interview: (surprised) Wha--?

Elite Core drifts slowly down with the excursion funnel.

Interview: Stop it! Stop it...

''As the music ends, Elite Core lands in the chair. The excursion funnel vanishes. The claw places three hats on the Elite Core, much to Interview Core's chagrin.''

Elite: Good evening, sir...

Interview: Oh, no, it looks like we've just run out of time! Oh, so sorry. (laughs)

Elite core is taken away by the claw

Elite: Wait! I haven't...

Interview: Hm. The nerve. Just cause he's got all those fancy hats he thinks he's so great.

Anthony: I miss him already.

Interview: I don't. In the meantime, I'd like to inform our faithful viewers that the official Underground Merchandise Dispensing System is now fully operational and open for business. (pause) We don't... actually have any merchandise yet. But, we will keep you posted! Until then, thanks for tuning in! Join us next time, when hopefully we won't get someone who'll make me look bad by comparison. Aha. Good night, everybody!

End credits.