Defective Turret voice lines

This is a complete list of the Defective Turret's voice lines from Portal 2.

Defective Turrets being carried

• "I can't see a thing. What just happened? Better open fire! [click click click click] Dang!"
• "Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing."
• "Yeah! Let's do this!"
• "Yeah, let's do this."
• "Yeah, alright."

Defective Turrets sound effects

• "clickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick"
• "clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick"

Failed Defective Turrets

• "Fantastic."
• "No, wait, wait!"
• "Hey, hold on now WHOA WHOA WHOA!"
• "Oh, this is ridiculous!"
• "Oh, come on!"
• "What are you doing no no no no no!"
• "Oh, this is ridiculous!"
• "Well, I tried."
• "Well, can't win 'em all..."
• "Nooooooooo..."
• "You can't fire me I quit!"
• "Oh, come on, you guys!"
• "Oh, this is just PERFECT!"
• "Oh, come ON!"
• "Aw, come on!"
• "This isn't fair!"
• "Give me another channnnce!"
• "No no wait wait waitAGGGHHHH"
• "Nonononononono!"
• "Ah, come on!"
• "Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!"
• "Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!"
• "Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!"
• "No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!"
• "Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!"
• "Hey, where are we goingNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
• "You messed with the wrong turret!"

Defective Turrets laughter

• "Heh heh heh heh..."
• "Moo hoo ha ha ha ha"
• "Moo hoo ha ha ha ha..."
• "Heh heh heh heh..."
• "Moo hoo ha ha ha ha..."
• "Heh heh heh heh..."
• "Yeah! Ha ha ha!"

Passed Defective Turrets

• "Heh heh heh..."
• "Really? Alright."
• "Yes indeed. Yes indeed."
• "Alright. Your funeral, pal."
• "So... we're all supposed to be blind, then, right? It's not just me? Alright, fantastic."
• "I, uh... don't have any bullets. Are you gonna give me any bullets? Are the bullets up there?"
• "Where do I get my gun?"
• "Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?"
• "Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!"
• "I, uh... I am a bad man."

Defective Turrets pre failure

• "Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn."
• "Alright, check THIS out."
• "Alright, stand back, everybody."
• "Time to watch the master."
• "Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn."
• "So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?"
• "Identify yourself or I will shoot."

Defective Turrets post failure

• "Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that."
• "Uhhhh... Blam! Blam blam blam! I'm not defective!"
• "Well, I did my best."
• "Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?"
• "Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!"
• "Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?"
• "Anyone got any bullets?"
• "Well, I tried."
• "Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry."
• "No can do."
• "Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry."
• "Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?"
• "YEAH! What's happening?"
• "Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?"
• "Yeah."
• "Yeah."
• "Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?"
• "Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money."
• "Shootin' blanks every time, ALL the time."
• "Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye."
• "What'd I hit?"
• "Well, can't win 'em all."
• "How was that?"
• "Standing down."
• "I'm trouble."

Defective Turrets voice response test

• "Hello."
• "Yeah, how ya doin'."
• "Pleased to meetcha."
• "Yeah, what?"
• "Yeah! Let's do this!"
• "Who said that?"
• "Yeah, what?"
• "Put me in the game, coach!"
• "Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap..."
• "Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?"
• "I'm gonna make you proud!"
• "Yeah, how ya doin'?"
• "Um."
• "Hello."
• "Crap."
• "Uh, yeah, what?"
• "I'm not defective!"
• "I'm not defective!"

Defective Turrets during GLaDOS confrontation

• "It's my big chance!"
• "I won't let you down!"
• "You won't regret this!"
• "Now it's broken turret's time to shine!"
• "Get ready for it!"
• "You asked for this!"
• "Here it comes, pal!"
• "Locked and loaded!"
• "Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!"
• "Oh."
• "Ah, crap."
• "Agggh, not again!"
• "Ohhh, not now!"
• "I'm fired, aren't I?"
• "This is trouble."
• "Oh, this ain't good."
• "Watch out, pal!"
• "Agggh! I'm on fire!"
• "Die!"

Defective Turrets during Wheatley confrontation

• "We're back!"
• "Hi there!"
• "Back again!"
• "Hi again!"
• "Well, hello, stranger!"
• "Hello there!"
• "This time is OUR time."
• "This time..."
• "Second time's a charm..."
• "Howdy, stranger! We're back!"
• "Annnnd we're back!"
• "Hi there!"
• "Back, and deadlier than ever!"
• "Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?"
• "Yeah."
• "Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice..."
• "Dang!"
• "Agggh..."
• "Crap!"
• "Rgggh!"
• "Crap!"
• "Dang!"
• "Dang."
• "Dang."
• "I thought we fixed that."
• "Awwww, come on."
• "What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?"
• "Ah for Pete's sake!"
• "Nope. Still can't see."
• "Yep. Still blind."
• "Click click click! Still defective!"
• "Yeah, that's right! Still defective!"
• "Yeah! Still not working."
• "Yeah! Non-lethal as ever."
• "Can't. See. A. Thing."
• "Absolutely no improvement."
• "Not getting better with age!"
• "This is just getting embarrassing."
• "Alright, you can go."
• "[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this."
• "Okay!"
• "Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you."
• "Hey, be a sport lady, and just tell him I killed you."
• "Well played."
• "Well, I tried. Best of luck!"
• "Best of luck, lady!"
• "Hey, safe travels, there."
• "Hey, nice potato!"
• "Like the potato!"
• "Hey, thanks so much!"
• "Don't be a stranger!"
• "It's been a pleasure!"
• "Take me with you? Please?"
• "Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!"
• "That was fun, wasn't it?"
• "Well, you bested me this time."
• "Touche, young lady, touche."

Trivia

• Defective turret voice line, "You can't fire me I quit!", it's a reference from 1969-film, "Hello, Dolly!" when the characters on the movie said the same line.