Defective Turret voice lines

This is a complete list of the Defective Turret's voice lines from Portal 2.

Defective Turrets pre failure

• "Watch and learn, everybody. Watch and learn." | Download | Play
• "Alright, check THIS out." | Download | Play
• "Alright, stand back, everybody." | Download | Play
• "Time to watch the master." | Download | Play
• "Watch and learn, everyone. Watch and learn." | Download | Play
• "So what am I, uh, supposed to do here?" | Download | Play
• "Identify yourself or I will shoot." | Download | Play

Defective Turrets sound effects

• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play
• "clickclickclick" | Download | Play

Defective Turrets post failure

• "Well, I gave it everything I could. Can't ask for more than that." | Download | Play
• "Uhhhh... Blam! Blam blam blam! I'm not defective!" | Download | Play
• "Well, I did my best." | Download | Play
• "Oh no, I'm one of the bad ones, aren't I?" | Download | Play
• "Hey! Squeaky-voice! Gimme some of your bullets!" | Download | Play
• "Can I get some bullets here? Anybody got bullets?" | Download | Play
• "Anyone got any bullets?" | Download | Play
• "Well, I tried." | Download | Play
• "Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry." | Download | Play
• "No can do." | Download | Play
• "Uhhh, no bullets. Sorry." | Download | Play
• "Hey! Squeaky-voice! How'd I do?" | Download | Play
• "YEAH! What's happening?" | Download | Play
• "Yeah, I GOT it, didn't I?" | Download | Play
• "Yeah." | Download | Play
• "Yeah." | Download | Play
• "Did I hit it? I hit it, didn't I?" | Download | Play
• "Yeah. Clickety click click. Right on the money." | Download | Play
• "Shootin' blanks every time, ALL the time." | Download | Play
• "Yeah, that's right. Little bullseye." | Download | Play
• "What'd I hit?" | Download | Play
• "Well, can't win 'em all." | Download | Play
• "How was that?" | Download | Play
• "Standing down." | Download | Play
• "I'm trouble." | Download | Play

Defective Turrets voice response test

• "Hello." | Download | Play (This line is also used for the new template)
• "Yeah, how ya doin'." | Download | Play
• "Pleased to meetcha." | Download | Play
• "Yeah, what?" | Download | Play
• "Yeah! Let's do this!" | Download | Play
• "Who said that?" | Download | Play
• "Yeah, what?" | Download | Play
• "Put me in the game, coach!" | Download | Play
• "Hello. Hello. Hell-- Aw, crap..." | Download | Play
• "Yeah, hey, how ya doin'?" | Download | Play
• "I'm gonna make you proud!" | Download | Play
• "Yeah, how ya doin'?" | Download | Play
• "Um." | Download | Play
• "Hello." | Download | Play
• "Crap." | Download | Play
• "Uh, yeah, what?" | Download | Play
• "I'm not defective!" | Download | Play
• "I'm not defective!" | Download | Play

Failed Defective Turrets

• "Fantastic." | Download | Play
• "No, wait, wait!" | Download | Play
• "Hey, hold on now WHOA WHOA WHOA!" | Download | Play
• "Oh, this is ridiculous!" | Download | Play
• "Oh, come on!" | Download | Play
• "What are you doing no no no no no!" | Download | Play
• "Oh, this is ridiculous!" | Download | Play
• "Well, I tried." | Download | Play
• "Well, can't win 'em all..." | Download | Play
• "Nooooooooo..." | Download | Play
• "You can't fire me I quit!" | Download | Play
• "Oh, come on, you guys!" | Download | Play
• "Oh, this is just PERFECT!" | Download | Play
• "Oh, come ON!" | Download | Play
• "Aw, come on!" | Download | Play
• "This isn't fair!" | Download | Play
• "Give me another channnnce!" | Download | Play
• "No no wait wait waitAGGGHHHH" | Download | Play
• "Nonononononono!" | Download | Play
• "Ah, come on!" | Download | Play
• "Hey, hold on whoa whoa whoa whoa!" | Download | Play
• "Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!" | Download | Play
• "Hey wait wait wait wait wait wait!" | Download | Play
• "No no, no no, no no, whoa whoa, no, whoa!" | Download | Play
• "Where we going? What are we doing? Agh!" | Download | Play
• "Hey, where are we goingNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" | Download | Play
• "You messed with the wrong turret!" | Download | Play

Defective Turrets being carried

• "Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal. Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing." | Download | Play
• "I can't see a thing. What just happened? Better open fire! [click click click click] Dang!" | Download | Play
• "Yeah! Let's do this!" | Download | Play
• "Yeah, let's do this." | Download | Play
• "Yeah, alright." | Download | Play

Defective Turrets laughter

• "Heh heh heh heh..." | Download | Play
• "Moo hoo ha ha ha ha" | Download | Play
• "Moo hoo ha ha ha ha..." | Download | Play
• "Heh heh heh heh..." | Download | Play
• "Moo hoo ha ha ha ha..." | Download | Play
• "Heh heh heh heh..." | Download | Play
• "Yeah! Ha ha ha!" | Download | Play

Passed Defective Turrets

• "Heh heh heh..." | Download | Play
• "Really? Alright." | Download | Play
• "Yes indeed. Yes indeed." | Download | Play
• "Alright. Your funeral, pal." | Download | Play
• "So... we're all supposed to be blind, then, right? It's not just me? Alright, fantastic." | Download | Play
• "I, uh... don't have any bullets. Are you gonna give me any bullets? Are the bullets up there?" | Download | Play
• "Where do I get my gun?" | Download | Play
• "Do, uh.... we get some eyes at some point?" | Download | Play
• "Yeah, I'm uh... I'm a bad man!" | Download | Play
• "I, uh... I am a bad man." | Download | Play

Defective Turrets during GLaDOS confrontation

• "Agggh! I'm on fire!" | Download | Play
• "It's my big chance!" | Download | Play
• "This is trouble." | Download | Play
• "Watch out, pal!" | Download | Play
• "Agggh, not again!" | Download | Play
• "Here it comes, pal!" | Download | Play
• "Locked and loaded!" | Download | Play
• "Oh, this ain't good." | Download | Play

Defective Turrets in the Turret Trap pre Wheatley battle

• "We're back!" | Download | Play
• "Hi there!" | Download | Play
• "Well, hello, stranger!" | Download | Play
• "This time..." | Download | Play

Unused

• "Back again!" | Download | Play
• "Hi again!" | Download | Play
• "Hello there!" | Download | Play
• "This time is OUR time." | Download | Play
• "Second time's a charm..." | Download | Play
• "Howdy, stranger! We're back!" | Download | Play
• "Annnnd we're back!" | Download | Play
• "Hi there!" | Download | Play
• "Back, and deadlier than ever!" | Download | Play
• "Thought you'd seen the last of us, didn't ya?" | Download | Play
• "Yeah." | Download | Play
• "Hurt me once, shame on me. Hurt me twice..." | Download | Play
• "Dang!" | Download | Play
• "Agggh..." | Download | Play
• "Crap!" | Download | Play
• "Rgggh!" | Download | Play
• "Crap!" | Download | Play
• "Dang!" | Download | Play
• "Dang." | Download | Play
• "Dang." | Download | Play
• "I thought we fixed that." | Download | Play
• "Awwww, come on." | Download | Play
• "What's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here?" | Download | Play
• "Ah for Pete's sake!" | Download | Play
• "Nope. Still can't see." | Download | Play
• "Yep. Still blind." | Download | Play
• "Click click click! Still defective!" | Download | Play
• "Yeah, that's right! Still defective!" | Download | Play
• "Yeah! Still not working." | Download | Play
• "Yeah! Non-lethal as ever." | Download | Play
• "Can't. See. A. Thing." | Download | Play
• "Absolutely no improvement." | Download | Play
• "Not getting better with age!" | Download | Play
• "This is just getting embarrassing." | Download | Play
• "Alright, you can go." | Download | Play
• "[sigh] Don't tell anyone about this." | Download | Play
• "Okay!" | Download | Play
• "Dang! All right, if anyone asks, I killed you." | Download | Play
• "Hey, be a sport lady, and just tell him I killed you." | Download | Play
• "Well played." | Download | Play
• "Well, I tried. Best of luck!" | Download | Play
• "Best of luck, lady!" | Download | Play
• "Hey, safe travels, there." | Download | Play
• "Hey, nice potato!" | Download | Play
• "Like the potato!" | Download | Play
• "Hey, thanks so much!" | Download | Play
• "Don't be a stranger!" | Download | Play
• "It's been a pleasure!" | Download | Play
• "Take me with you? Please?" | Download | Play
• "Hey, give 'em hell, sweetheart!" | Download | Play
• "That was fun, wasn't it?" | Download | Play
• "Well, you bested me this time." | Download | Play
• "Touche, young lady, touche." | Download | Play
• "I won't let you down!" | Download | Play
• "You won't regret this!" | Download | Play
• "Now it's broken turret's time to shine!" | Download | Play
• "Get ready for it!" | Download | Play
• "You asked for this!" | Download | Play
• "Ha ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!" | Download | Play
• "Oh." | Download | Play
• "Ah, crap." | Download | Play
• "Ohhh, not now!" | Download | Play
• "I'm fired, aren't I?" | Download | Play
• "Die!" | Download | Play

Trivia

• Defective turret voice line, "You can't fire me I quit!", it's a reference from 1969-film, "Hello, Dolly!" when the characters on the movie said the same line.